


Secret stalker I mean santa

by Vixens_thoughts



Series: Christmas Resolutions [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 25 Days of Harry and Draco, Angst, Christmas, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, M/M, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Post-War, Smut, Stalker Harry, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-01
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-05 00:01:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 41,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16799680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixens_thoughts/pseuds/Vixens_thoughts
Summary: Harry picks Malfoy's name for secret santa. cue stalking, misuse of his invisabilty cloak, (accidental) voyeurism and developing feelings. Harry unsurprisingly ends up getting in trouble again but can he get himself out of it this time.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Story written for the 25 days of harry and draco picture prompt 2018.  
> prompt pic: Building front covered in christmas decorations (was probably meant to be a shop but I made it a pub)

Sitting in the cheery muggle pub, surrounded by the beautiful Christmas decorations that had recently been put up Harry usually had no problem enjoying himself, it was one of his favourite places to come when he wanted to unwind. It was quiet, the drinks were good and reasonably priced and the soft music playing in the background was relaxing. On any other day he’d be feeling content as he talked with his friends, catching up with how Ron was doing working with George at the joke shop or hearing about Hermione’s newest campaign to improve something or other in the wizarding world. However today all he could do was stare grumpily at the drink in his hand and hate his life.

“Should have stayed dead.” Harry muttered sulkily before taking a large gulp of his drink, he was hoping the alcohol would improve his sour mood but it seemed to be having the opposite effect. Putting the glass down harder than necessary on the scratched wooden table, he let his head drop backwards as he silently asked the gods why they were punishing him again, surly he hadn’t done anything to deserve this.

“Honestly, it’s not that bad, don’t be so melodramatic.” Hermione said and Harry didn’t even have to look to know she was rolling her eyes at him.

“What the bloody hell do you mean it’s not that bad? Did you not hear what happened?” Ron shouted indigently, Harry turned his head to smile at Ron, bless his friend, he knew Ron would understand and have his back. The moment he’d told him Ron had reacted exactly like Harry thought he would. He’d ranted for over an hour his face red in anger before promising to do everything in his power to help Harry through the newest injustice he was facing. His first solution had been to drag him to the pub after owling Hermione to meet them there so that Harry could drown his sorrows. It was a Friday night so he didn’t see any reason to object to Ron’s plan.

He watched Hermione shake her head at Ron before giving him an exasperated look; clearly she thought he was being melodramatic as well. Ron however refused to be cowed, sitting up straighter in his chair and placing his hand on Harry’s shoulder in a show of solidarity.

“So he picked Malfoy’s name for the Secret Santa program at the Ministry, it’s not a big deal.” She said with a shrug as if it was nothing more than a mild inconvenience rather than the complete tragedy it was. Once again Ron was quick to jump to his defence explaining that it was in fact a big deal.

“Yes it is! Of all the people in the Ministry he got stuck with the damn ferret to get a gift for, only Harry could be that unlucky.” Ron finished, giving Harry’s shoulder a sympathetic pat then grimaced and mouthed an apology when Harry glared at him, as if it was his fault that he had rotten luck.

When the Ministry had suggested starting a Secret Santa program this year Harry had been all for it. He had imagined it would be fun, hunting through the shops for something perfect for whoever he picked; maybe he would even make a new friend. Obliviously that wasn’t going to happen now because as usual something had to come along and fucked it all up, like pulling that git’s name out of the Santa hat that had been passed around today.

They had told him that the decision was final when he had asked, more like begged, to pick again. He had heard that in order to encourage better relations between departments that they would be picking from another sector of the Ministry. It never occurred to him that someone would think that having the Aurors pick from the Potion’s lab would be a smart idea. Even though they had to work closely together on several of their cases, there was a very clear divide between the two groups. Mostly because those that worked in the labs saw the Aurors as brainless thugs and the Aurors thought that anyone working in the labs was a stuck up know it all. When forced to interact they usually did so by sending memos back and forth only meeting face to face when it was completely unavoidable, something Harry had been grateful for when he learned Malfoy worked there.

Reaching into his pocket Harry pulled out the small slip of paper hoping that the words had magically changed in the last ten minutes since he’d last looked.

Unfortunately not, there it was clear as day ‘Draco Malfoy’ written in green ink and fancy script. Crushing the paper in his fist he shoved it back into his pocket and downed his drink, oh he was going to get plastered tonight. Then maybe tomorrow this would turn out to be nothing more than a bad dream.

“Just get him something, anything, it doesn’t matter what.” Hermione said trying to be reasonable but Harry wasn’t in the mood to be reasonable. It was perfectly understandable for him to be upset and he planned to sulk for the rest of the night.

Turning to Ron he was about to ask if he wanted another drink, he was still far too sober and had no intention of staying that way. The words died in his throat when he saw that Ron was grinning; a spark of mischief in his eyes, wondering what his friend was thinking Harry raised an eyebrow in silent question.

“You could always get him some ferret food,” Ron joked his grin widening as he gave Harry a wink. Unable to help himself Harry burst out laughing, so much for sulking all night he should have known Ron would find a way to cheer him up. Looking at his friend Harry watched Ron slam his hand on the table as he laughed clearly amused by his own joke.

Their laughter stopped abruptly when Hermione shot to her feet scowling down at them angrily, her hands fisted and resting on her hips, the pose recognisable as a sure sign that she was about to give them an earful.

“I can’t believe you, both of you!” she shouted slapping Ron across the back of the head when he sniggered before locking her eyes with Harry’s, “you will do nothing of the sort, do you hear me Harry. The Secret Santa program was designed to bring people a little bit of happiness, would you really be cruel enough to ruin that for Malfoy? All because you had a childish rivalry with him at school. It’s been 5 years, more than enough time for you to have grown up!”

Without waiting for Harry to answer Hermione grabbed her coat and told Ron that he could sleep on the sofa tonight before turning and marching out of the pub. Ron jumped to his feet, his hand outstretched even though she was already out of reach.

Dropping his hand, Ron grunted as he slumped back down into his seat, eyes downcast, his earlier joy chased off by Hermione’s disapproval.

It had just been a joke; she couldn’t really think Harry would do it, even if the git deserved it. As for the childish rivalry comment, had she forgotten he had been a Death Eater, had fought against them?

Harry tried to drum up the hatred he had felt for Malfoy during the war but found the task harder than he expected. His mind supplying him with images of a sickly pale boy and blood spilling across a tiled floor. Pushing those thoughts aside and letting out a sigh he was forced to admit that while he most certainly didn’t like Malfoy he didn’t really hate him anymore, seems he had grown up regardless of what Hermione thought.

Until he’d pulled Malfoy’s name today he hadn’t really given him much thought. In the last 5 years they’d crossed paths only a handful of times where they would sneer at each other before walking off in different directions. In fact, the only time they’d even sort of spoken had been 2 years ago when Malfoy had been assigned as the potion expert on one of his cases, which had just resulted in them sending insulting memos to each other for a week until the case was solved. Uninterested in taking a trip down memory lane he instead focused his attention on his now depressed friend who was currently sat pouting into his pint.

“She’ll come around mate.” Harry said nudging Ron with his elbow, “Hermione has never had much of a sense of humour but she knows you were just kidding. Tomorrow tell her you only said it to cheer me up and she’ll forgive you I’m sure.”

Ron looked over at him his mouth curling up at the corners in a weak smile.

“Wanna get pissed and bitch about Malfoy all night? We can think of the most insulting thing you could get him. Hermione isn’t here to tell us off anymore and what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.”

Ron’s smile shifted into something closer to normal but there was still a trace of sadness on his face. It wasn’t fair that his friend was suffering for trying to help him and Harry’s guilt meant he was determined to have his friend laughing again before the end of the night.

Harry wasn’t sure what time they eventually stumbled out of the pub, into the dark and cold street. The pleasant buzz of intoxication helping to keep him warm and causing him to trip on a miniature Christmas tree set up next to the door. He’d only managed to avoid falling flat on his face because of Ron’s arm wrapped around his side.

Giggling to themselves while leaning heavily on each other for support they began to walk in a very wobbly line towards the Leaky Cauldron so they could use the floo to get home. The way the street lights were dancing in front of Harry’s face he was glad they had decided against disapparating because that would be really, really stupid unless he wanted to spend Christmas in St Mungo’s, although that would solve his secret Santa problem.

“Harrrrryyyy, you…you could get him a…an enormous tub of hair gel!” Ron yelled in Harry’s ear throwing his arms out to the side as he stood swaying in the street before dissolving into giggles again.

The next day when Harry woke up clutching at his head and groaning in pain, he wondered if he’d been stepped on by a dragon before remembering that he’d been at the pub with Ron last night. Sitting up his stomach suddenly lurched and he rushed to the bathroom. A task made more difficult by the dizziness he was experiencing, with his hand clamped firmly over his mouth.

While he threw up something he didn’t remember eating and had hopefully tasted better on the way down, he remembered why he had gotten completely drunk last night.

Fucking Malfoy, this was all that bloody git’s fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> picture prompt: Big Ben

When Monday morning rolled around Harry’s mood still hadn’t improved much, only the joy of the season allowed him to smile at the girl at the front desk as he headed to his office. A smile that quickly fell as his eyes landed on the stack of paperwork sitting on his desk.

For what seemed like the hundredth time Harry cursed Malfoy, this was all his fault. After he’d pulled Malfoy’s name and tried everything he could to change it he’d abandoned work early to find Ron, desperate to complain to someone about how unfair it was and knowing his best mate would agree with him.

Flopping down into the battered but comfy chair, he prayed that a new case had been opened so he could ignore the paperwork; a quick check told him that he was out of luck.

Damn it, there was nothing which meant a day sat at his desk, groaning loudly Harry pulled the first report forward. He worked throughout the whole day, stopping only for lunch and the caffeine breaks necessary to keep him awake as he filled out form after form. It was days like this that he envied Ron, working with his brother at the shop must be a lot less tedious, but as much as he hated his job sometime he also knew he’d never give it up. Being an Auror meant everything to him, the satisfaction of closing another case, the rush, heart racing as he fought and won, capturing his target; it was what he lived for.

With his hand cramping from holding the quill and trying to keep his messy handwriting eligible, Merlin knew, he didn’t want to have to write them again, he finally signed the last form and threw down his quill in triumph.

Rubbing the ache from his hand he looked up at the clock for the first time in hours and realised he should have finished almost an hour ago. Only the knowledge that he would come in tomorrow to a clear desk stopped him from feeling angry even as his back clicked when he stood up and stretched, making him winch in pain. He was going to have a long hot bath when he got home and then sit in front of the TV with a take away, reasoning that he’d earned it. Scooping up his Auror robes from the back of his chair, he draped them over his arm as he walked out of his office.

Jogging off the elevator toward the floo station, the sound of another set of footsteps caused him to turn. His eyebrows rose as he watched Malfoy striding hurriedly past the floos heading instead for the muggle exit.

Where was Malfoy going?

He certainly seemed to be in a hurry and the expression on his face had been one of panic, Harry was sure of it. He hadn’t realised he’d started going after Malfoy until he found himself in front of the door Malfoy had left through, his hand wrapped around the handle.

What on earth was he doing? He wasn’t going to follow Malfoy; he was going to go home where he’d have a bath and then eat Chinese. Even as he told himself this, he was opening the door, stepping out into the street where the frigid air hit him stealing the breath from his lungs. Rushing to pull his robes on he scanned the empty street for Malfoy.

There he was, just going round the corner on the right. Wrapping his robes tighter round himself to keep the wind out, he moved as quickly and quietly as possible after Malfoy. His feet crunched on the frozen slush beneath him, as he swore under his breath, wishing he’d brought his thick winter cloak to work today. Well, it wasn’t like he had been expecting to be walking around outside following his old school nemesis; actually he still wasn’t sure why he was doing it now. What did it matter if Malfoy had looked shaken up as he’d practically ran from the Ministry, it was none of his business, he should turn around right this second and go home, it was the logical thing to do.

Unfortunately logic was being overruled by his curiosity, he’d always had a problem with sticking his nose in places he shouldn’t and working as an Auror had only encouraged the habit.

Stopping to peer around the corner he saw Malfoy moving swiftly down the street before suddenly pausing and throwing a glance behind him. Harry jerked back with his heart hammer in his chest, wondering if he had he been spotted. Risking another look he found Malfoy had continued walking, so maybe not, but he needed to be more careful. Harry might not be sure why he was doing this but he was determined not to be caught.

Pulling out his wand he put up a disillusionment charm feeling the magic trickle over him from head to toe. While it wasn’t as good as his invisibility cloak he was confident that Malfoy wouldn’t spot him unless he was actively looking out for a tail, which considering Malfoy’s behaviour was possible.

Doing one last check to make sure the charm was holding Harry sprinted to catch up to Malfoy before he got too far away. He made sure to stick close to the shadows relying on them to disguise his blurry form, creeping as close as was safe. The last thing he needed was to answer awkward questions about why he was stalking Malfoy again, he could almost hear Hermione’s voice in his head telling him that this was a bad idea.

However he’d come too far now to turn back, maybe this was actually a good thing, he needed to get the git a gift for secret Santa after all. It wasn’t like he expected Malfoy to start shouting out his Christmas list or anything but perhaps he’d drop a hint just by looking in the shop windows but what could Malfoy possibly want in muggle London?

Thinking that just brought Harry back to his original question, why was Malfoy here? He couldn’t imagine Malfoy ever willingly setting foot in the muggle world unless it was a life or death situation.

Suddenly feeling apprehensive Harry considered Malfoy’s behaviour, was the situation that serious? Was he in danger? Harry’s instincts kicked in and he began playing closer attention to where they were headed, checking behind him to make sure no-one but him was following. With the exception of earlier when Harry had worried he had been seen Malfoy hadn’t looked back again so Harry ruled out the possibility he was running from someone or something.

Instead Malfoy was keeping his head bowed as he moved through the slowly filling streets heading closer to the city centre, suggesting that he didn’t want to be noticed. Not that it worked, his almost white hair stood out like a beacon against those around him, making it easy for Harry to spot him even in a crowd. Harry was so focused on Malfoy he didn’t notice the bells ringing out as Big Ben chimed the hour until Malfoy glanced upwards swearing loudly. Increasing his pace so that he was now running, Malfoy used his slim frame to his advantage to squeeze between people, muttering the odd apology when he bumped into someone.

Harry had a harder time keeping up since he had to be cautious not to draw anyone’s attention, resulting in him falling further behind. Eventually managing to get past a large crowd he froze, his heart racing in panic, where had Malfoy gone.

 _Shit_ , he thought kicking at the wall next to him in frustration, he’d walked halfway across London only to lose his bloody target. Harry was about to find an alley so he could disapparate home when he saw a flash of blond hair and there, just across the street stood Malfoy looking slightly flustered. Sneaking across the road, he listened as Malfoy’s words became clearer the closer he crept and discovered exactly why Malfoy had been in such a rush to get here.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-baby it's cold outside

“I’m so sorry Pans, I lost track of time and…” Malfoy’s words trailed off as his eyes roamed over Parkinson, his voice going noticeably higher as he continued talking, “and what are you wearing it’s fucking freezing out here.” Malfoy practically screeched yanking his scarf off and then proceeded to wrap it tightly around the petite girl’s neck.

Harry had no idea why, surely it would be better wrapped round her legs considering the mini skirt she was wearing although the knee high leather boots probably helped keep them warm.

“You’re going to catch your death dressed like that, please tell me you at least have a warming charm on.”

Harry couldn’t help feeling surprised seeing this overly caring Malfoy, what happened to the brat that treated everyone like something he’d scrapped off the bottom of his shoe. Parkinson was obviously used to Malfoy acting this way and just pushed his hands away with a huff.

“Yes mother. Did you?” she said sarcastically before grinned mischievously when Malfoy fell silent looking guilty for a second.

“No, but rushing here has warmed me up so I’m fine, not to mention I’m dressed appropriately.” he said gesturing to his own clothes. This caused Harry to take notice of Malfoy’s clothing, his muggle clothing, how hadn’t he realised that while he was following the git.

Malfoy was wearing a thick grey knee length coat that was perfectly tailored to his body, with black trousers and dress shoes. As Harry watched Malfoy pulled out a matching pair of black gloves from his pocket and put them on, the entire time looking worriedly at Parkinson bare hands, making her roll her eyes at him in response.

“I’m fine. So anything exciting happening in the life of Draco Malfoy?” she asked slipping her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

“Surprisingly yes,” Malfoy answered, excitement changing his usual drawl into something friendlier.

“Have you finally got a boyfriend?” Parkinson asked bouncing forward and grabbing Malfoy’s arm, he scoffed in response while prying her hand off.

 _Wait, Malfoy was gay,_ Harry’s mind began to race with this new information and he found himself leaning forward to hear Malfoy’s answer.

“I wish,” He muttered sadly, “do you remember that Secret Santa program at work I told you about.”

At Parkinson’s nod he continued, “We picked who we’re buying gifts for last Friday, they have the labs picking people from the Aurors.”

Malfoy must have told her about the tension between the two departments because her eyebrows rose and her mouth fell open for a moment. Had all the lab workers reacted that way when they pulled the Aurors names, he thought briefly? Before Parkinson started talking again drawing his attention back to the pair stood catching up on a street in London in the middle of winter.

“Don’t tell me you picked Potter’s name.” she said gleefully, as if that could be the best thing to ever happen. Wasn’t she Malfoy’s friend? Why would she be happy if Malfoy had picked his name? Harry was getting more confused by the second at the odd relationship they seemed to have.

“Thank Merlin no, Emma picked Potter, I did however give her a suggestion for a gift though I don’t think she’ll take it.”

 _Oh I bet you bloody did_ , Harry thought angrily before remembering the various gifts him and Ron had come up with for Malfoy which made him feel like a hypocrite for his annoyance.

“And what exactly was your suggestion?” Parkinson asked already giggling slightly.

Harry Pressed his lips together to keep his anger in check, preparing for whatever insult was about to be aimed his way.

“A bottle of Sleekeazy, you’d think since it was his grandfather who invented it that he’d use it on occasion,” Malfoy chuckled as Parkinson dissolved into giggles.

It wasn’t that funny and Harry wondered if he wanted to stick around to hear the two of them taking the piss out of him. He ended up staying, strangely fascinated by seeing the Slytherins so relaxed.

“Didn’t you once say that not even Sleekeazy could fix that nest he calls hair?” Parkinson said cheekily after she had calmed down. Harry glared at her then Malfoy, since apparently he’d been the one to say it first.

“Probably, maybe that’s why he doesn’t use it,” Malfoy said with a shrug and his trademark smirk. “Anyway I picked Hannah Abbott she was in our year, Hufflepuff if I remember right, from talking to some of the others in the lab she’s a decent sort, not rude like most of the other Aurors so I’ll have to find something extraordinary for her gift. I’ll have to do some sneaking about to find out what she’d like.” Malfoy fell silent as he frowned in thought.

Once again Harry was left feeling surprised and confused, did Malfoy really care about what he got Hannah? What did he mean ‘do some sneaking’, was he going to follow her around like… _like you_ …his mind supplied. He didn’t get time to consider that thought because Parkinson suddenly squealed loudly, making him jump. Once again grabbing Malfoy in her excitement, was it a habit of hers or something?

“What if Potter picked your name, if you picked from the Aurors then he must have picked from the labs.”

A look of horror crossed Malfoy’s face and he visibly shuddered, Harry found himself feeling insulted by Malfoy’s reaction it’s not like he wanted to pull the git’s name. If anyone should be bothered about it, then it should be him.

“No, no, not a chance,” Malfoy said shaking his head, his expression returning to his usual one of lazy indifference. “There’s no way Potter would be that unluckily and even if he was I’m sure he’d be able to change it, rules don’t really apply when you’re the brat that won’t die.”

Harry only just managed to stop himself from snorting at just how wrong Malfoy was.

“But what if he did? What do you think he’d get you?” Parkinson said not willing to drop the subject yet and pouting at Malfoy, until with a sigh he answered.

“Likely something insulting that he thought was funny. However I expect nothing better than that from whoever has the misfortune of pulling my name.” Malfoy’s voice got softer as he spoke a tinge of sadness in his tone. Parkinson picked up on it right away and reached up to squeeze his shoulder.

“Hey stop that, remember no pity party’s at Christmas, you promised.” Malfoy let out a chuckle at her words but Parkinson’s face was serious. Harry’s brow furrowed, why was Malfoy laughing and what was that about a promise, his curiosity was rewarded as Malfoy began to speak.

“I remember, second year, father wouldn’t let me go home for Christmas because he was angry at me for losing against Potter. You made me promise not to spend Christmas having a pity party,” Malfoy said fondly as he got lost in the memory. Harry hadn’t known that was why Malfoy had stayed at school that year, hadn’t cared if he was honest. He’d been too busy trying to prove Malfoy was the heir of Slytherin.

“That’s right you promised so cheer up. Though I have to ask if you don’t think you’re going to get anything good, why did you sign up for the program in the first place?”She asked titling her head to the side and fixing her eyes on Malfoy. That was something else Harry hadn’t considered, and he found himself needing to know what the answer was.

“Silverton made it compulsory for all his staff, he’s hoping it will build bridges between the departments and maybe we’ll get the recognition we deserve. He’s being a bit optimistic but I would have signed up anyway just for that reason alone. Do you know Jacob stayed awake for three days to identify the powder that helped crack one of the Aurors cases? Do you want to know what he got for doing that?” Parkinson nodded her head frowning at Draco’s sharp tone.

“He got blamed for the deaths of two victims because he didn’t work it out sooner! It’s not fair Pansy, they work their asses off and the Aurors can’t even be bothered to say bloody thank you, if this program can fix that or even make it a little better then I’d do it in a heartbeat.” Malfoy was upset, it was there, written openly on his face, in his tone, the way he clenched his fists. He was upset because he felt his co-workers were being over looked, _they_ not them, he had said and Harry had noticed.

Thinking back he remembered that case, the powder had turned out to be a blend of muggle and wizard drugs, a deadly concoction resulting in six deaths in total, only the powder being identified had stopped it from being more. Racking his brain he wondered if he had ever thanked the potioneers he’d worked with and felt a wave of guilt when the answer was no.

“I know and you deserve that recognition too, you work just as hard as the others. I hope this program works. I’ll even help you pick the best gift ever,” Parkinson said trying to lighten the mood, and succeeding in removing Malfoy’s frown.

“Thanks Pansy, I want to get her something that will make her smile, spread some Christmas joy.”

Harry couldn’t help but find it weird hearing Malfoy say something like that without a trace of sarcasm, the fact he was smiling again only made it weirder.

“You’re such a big softy Dray,” Pansy said giving his cheek a pinch. Malfoy pushed her away and gave her what Harry thought was meant to be a glare. Having spent many years being glared at by Malfoy the one he gave Parkinson was nothing more than a poor imitation.

“Stop scowling at me you know it’s true. You want to get her a great present because you’re a sap about Christmas, it doesn’t have anything to do with helping the department,” She teased as she tried to pinch his cheek again and was stopped by Malfoy grabbing her wrists.

“I am not,” Malfoy said trying to appear outraged but unable to stop his mouth curling into a smirk as they wrestled for a moment before Malfoy released her.

“Liar, yes you are, even if you’d gotten Potter’s name you still would have gotten him an amazing gift. Plus you would never turn down an excuse to go shopping, I know you too well.”

“That’s true at least, but I am not a softy or a sap, I am a cold hearted bastard that steals candy from children and kicks puppies.”

Malfoy only just managed to finish speaking before his resolve crumbled and he laughed, Parkinson joining in.

“Indeed, you are truly a monster how could I forget, maybe because I’ve seen you feed your birthday cake to your father’s peacocks.”

“I was six and they really liked the cake, thank you very much,” Malfoy said snottily, sticking his nose in the air before laughing again. With one last giggle Parkinson reached over lacing her arm with his.

“Come on its cold outside. Let’s get in and grab some food,” Parkinson said as they walked towards the doors of a restaurant and out of Harry’s sight.

For a second Harry wanted to follow, wanted to see more of this side of Malfoy and listen to more stories. What the hell was he thinking? This was Malfoy, so what if he wasn’t a complete wanker to his friend he was still a git and Harry had wasted an hour following him and standing around in the cold. Feeling stiff and half frozen he struggled to pull out his wand with numb fingers before with a crack he disapparated.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-Candle

Harry landed heavily, staggering for a second before steadying himself by grabbing the sofa in front of him. Moving around it he let himself fall back onto the soft cushions, his body shivering as it tried to warm itself. He should probably cast a warming charm or at least light the fireplace but his mind was spinning with all the new information he had recently received.

Images of Malfoy laughing and smiling were mixed up with bits of his conversation with Parkinson and no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t get any of it to match up with the boy he’d despised at school. No one could change that much in a few years and certainly not that suck up prat, it just didn’t make sense.

Groaning Harry raked his fingers though his hair, it didn’t matter, he didn’t care if Malfoy had changed or not. If it wasn’t for this stupid Secret Santa crap he never would have given a second thought to the Slytherin or what he was doing; now he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Did he act like that at work, smiling and joking with his co-workers in the labs or was it only with Parkinson he dropped his snobby attitude? He seemed to care about the other potioneers so maybe they were friends, all of them under appreciated and shunned by the Aurors.

Harry frowned; thinking about Malfoy was giving him a headache so he turned his thoughts to the other lab workers.

He’d never been deliberately rude to any of them except Malfoy but he’d never given them much consideration either. It was only when he needed results on a potion or substance that he sent them a memo, he didn’t even contact them directly when he needed to restock his healing potions, just waited for the request form that was posted on the notice board once a month and ticking the box to get more.

He tried to imagine what it must be like, standing over a steaming cauldron all day, chopping ingredients and weighing everything out and then not even getting a thank you.

Did they go out for a drink to celebrate when they finished brewing for the month, or when they helped solve a case, cheering each other because no one else would? It couldn’t really be that bad, so what if some of the Aurors forgot to say thanks and maybe they got a bit snappy if the results were taking awhile but it’s not like they were ignored completely.

Still, it wouldn’t hurt for Harry to be a bit nicer to them; everyone liked to hear they were doing a good job. Deciding he’d make sure to say thank you in the future he felt a bit better about the situation. With that decision made, Harry’s thoughts ended up circling back to Malfoy.

He still wasn’t sure what to think of him and was disturbed by how much more he wanted to know about this new Malfoy. Had it been a result of the war or just that they had grown up? Had he been less selfish and cold than he seemed when they had been at school? Parkinson hadn’t said anything about his behaviour so maybe she was used to it; they must have known each other for a while, before they even started Hogwarts if she knew him when he was a kid.

Just from watching them for a little while it was clear they were close and cared for each other. If anyone else had dared call Malfoy a softy they would have been hexed into next week, Harry was sure of it. Honestly, if he hadn’t just found out Malfoy’s gay he would have assumed they were a couple, Parkinson had been constantly touching him after all.

Harry wasn’t bothered about Malfoy being gay since he was bi, it had just been a surprise that’s all but looking back he supposed there had been hints. Malfoy had always been obsessive about his hair and wardrobe, dressing better than some of the girls at school; he also hadn’t dated much to Harry’s knowledge. Everyone had assumed he was with Parkinson, maybe it was easier to let them think that then have people know the truth.

Wizards could be just as closed minded as muggles when it came to sexuality. Harry had received some backlash when the papers had outed him, but he’d just ignored it, why should he give a damn what some stupid bigots thought of him. However he guessed it would be harder being gay and a pureblood since they cared so much about continuing their bloodlines.

Why was he thinking about this still? Springing to his feet Harry headed for the stairs, he was going to have the bath he had planned to take before all this madness started and he was not going to think about Malfoy anymore.

Relaxing in the hot water, letting the warmth sink into his very bones Harry let out a sigh, _much better_ he thought. Closing his eyes, Harry managed to think of nothing but the feeling of the water lapping gently around him until an image began to appear, platinum blonde hair, striking grey eyes, a sly smirk.

Harry’s eyes flew open, the image of Malfoy’s face remaining for a second before vanishing; _I am not going to think about bloody Malfoy_ Harry thought sharply as he washed quickly his relaxing bath now ruined.

Flipping though channels looking for something to watch, Harry stopped on a Christmas film and settled in, picking up his chow main. It was one of those heartfelt Christmas films filled with highs and lows and as one point Harry found his eyes growing damp. Wiping at them before the tears could fall he berated himself for being sappy. ‘You’re a sap about Christmas’ Parkinson’s words from earlier rang in his head and he found himself remembering Malfoy’s response.

Turning off the TV with a growl of frustration Harry stormed off to put away the remains of his dinner, _Merlin’s sake, I can’t even watch a damn movie without thinking about that git_. Determined to forget about Malfoy Harry headed up to bed.

He lay there tossing and turning, fighting to keep his mind blank so he could sleep in peace but every time he closed his eyes Malfoy was there smiling or laughing, taunting him. It was like the prat knew he was driving Harry crazy and was enjoying it.

Giving up on getting any sleep Harry pulled himself up so he could sit back against his headboard, lighting the candle beside his bed with a flick of his wand. If he wasn’t going to sleep until he got this sorted out then he would sit here until he did.

Giving his mind free rein to think over everything that had happened today, replaying the conversation between Malfoy and Parkinson, all the expressions and gestures Malfoy had made. He even let himself imagine a smaller Malfoy, his hands covered in cake, laughing as he fed it to the manor peacocks enter his head.

Why had this gotten to him so much? What did he hope to achieve by torturing himself with these thoughts? Banging the back of his head against his headboard Harry wished he had never followed Malfoy in the first place; _but oh no he just had to see what the git was up to_ , and now he had no-one to blame for this mess but himself.

He needed to know more, that was why he couldn’t stop thinking about Malfoy, he had too many questions and his mind wouldn’t rest until he got answers and his curiosity was finally satisfied. How the hell was he going to do that? It wasn’t like he could just walk up to Malfoy and ask him, unless he wanted to be hexed.

Harry briefly toyed with the idea of following Malfoy again but he couldn’t do that, it was wrong to spy on people, _not that it stopped you before_ , his mind whispered making Harry feel guilty. He wasn’t going to follow Malfoy again, he was going to leave him alone from now on and forget everything he’d seen.

 _What about his gift_?

Harry cursed out loud he’d forgotten completely that he still needed to get Malfoy something for the Secret Santa program. His shoulders slumped as he wondered what to get him, but he couldn’t think of a single thing. Hearing about how much Malfoy wanted to get Hanna a good gift and that he wasn’t expected much back, Harry was determined not to disappoint Malfoy.

It was Christmas, he reasoned as a way to explain why it was suddenly so important that Malfoy like his gift. Unfortunately Harry still had no idea what Malfoy would want for Christmas; maybe he could keep an eye on Malfoy, just at work so he could get some ideas. It wasn’t really spying if Harry just paid a bit of attention to Malfoy at work, especially in the communal areas, and it was for a good cause.

Okay so it was still a bit dodgy but it was just until Harry found out what to get him, a couple of days at most then he’d forget all about this Malfoy thing and everything would be normal again. With his mind made up and feeling tired, he leaning over to blow out the candle before wriggled down into his bed and wrapping the thick blankets around himself, dreaming of presents under the tree, blonde hair and peacocks. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> picture prompt-hot chocolate and marshmallows

When Harry woke up the next morning, he tried not to dwell too much on his dreams. Instead he went though his normal routine, grabbing breakfast and a quick shower before pulling on a clean set of Auror robes.

However as he went to leave he found himself pausing in the doorway of his bedroom. Minutes passed before Harry spun around, a few quick steps and he was dropping to his knees before the chest at the end of his bed. Hesitantly he reached out for the latches holding it closed, was he really doing this? The sound of two clicks filled the room as the latches snapped open and Harry lifted the heavy lid.

Reaching inside he pulled out a familiar shimmery cloak, stroking his fingers along the smooth fabric. He couldn’t really be thinking of going through with this, hadn’t he already made up his mind that he wasn’t going to spy on Malfoy. _Still you never know_ , Harry thought as he shoved his invisibility cloak into his work satchel. Slamming the chest closed Harry headed downstairs, feeling he was now ready for whatever might happen. Pushing aside his worries that things were already getting out of hand he flooed into work, his heart racing in excitement.

His earlier excitement was long gone now, his shoulders slumped and a headache was forming as he walked back into the Ministry.

He’d just spent two hours convincing a crazy old man that dark wizards were not in fact hiding in his garden. They also had not stolen his glasses, the ones perched on his head as he shouted conspiracy theories at Harry. There was no way Harry was going to deal with the paperwork for this one until he’d had a coffee and if he was lucky a slice of treacle tart.

He had just sat down in the Ministry’s cafeteria with his coffee and the last slice of tart when he noticed Malfoy heading out, his hands loaded down with a tray full of steaming mugs.

Throwing back his coffee, Harry ignored his burnt tongue and shoved a large bite of his tart into his mouth before he Jumped to his feet and followed Malfoy. He was walking towards the lift currently unaware of Harry a few steps behind him. Stepping into the lift Harry pressed the button for the 2nd floor keeping his back to Malfoy.

“Forth floor plea…”

Malfoy’s words died in his throat as Harry turned to face him. His expression changed in a second, lips curling into a sneer and eyes narrowing. Harry returned the look but pushed the button since Malfoy’s hands were still full.

An awkward silence settled in as the lift began to move and they both pretended the other wasn’t there. As soon as the doors opened Malfoy was gone, rushing down the corridor without looking back, meaning he didn’t see Harry step off as well pulling the cloak from his bag. _Guess it was a good thing I brought this_ ; Harry thought as he wrapped it around himself and went after Malfoy.

Managing to sneak into the room before the door had closed, Harry placed his back to the wall interested to see what actually happened in the potions lab since he’d never set foot in here before.

“I come baring the elixir of life,” Malfoy announced to the room, and three heads turned towards him. Two blokes in their 30s or 40s and an elderly women who could have been anywhere between 60 and 100, despite her iron grey hair Harry reckoned she was closer to 60.

“Coffee?” one of the blokes asked, his long dark hair tied back from his haggard face.

“Better than that Jacob, hot chocolate,” Malfoy replied with a large smile. Jacob smiled back but the other bloke who’s head was shaved bald groaned. However they all walked up to Malfoy and accepted the mugs with a nod or a thank you.

“Wait,” Malfoy said after picking up his own cup and placing down the tray, he reached into his robe pocket pulling out a packet of mini marshmallows and dropped some into his mug. “You can’t have hot chocolate without marshmallows, it’s barbaric.”

The women and Jacob shared a laugh at Malfoy’s serious tone and all of them held up their mugs. Malfoy dropped some into Jacob’s cup, then a larger amount into the women’s before putting the marshmallows back into his pocket with a smirk.

“Hey, where’s mine?” the bald guy asked angrily.

“Sitting in a shop waiting for you to buy them,” Malfoy teased, his smirk growing wider as he raised an eyebrow.

“Really Malfoy, you gave some to Jacob and Emma got loads.” He complained.

“That’s because I like Emma the best, Davis. She always says such nice things to me,” Malfoy said obviously enjoying Davis annoyance.

“Oh you wicked boy.” The women named Emma, said fondly.

“See, that’s why she gets marshmallows ” Malfoy said wrapping an arm around Emma’s shoulder and raising his mug at Davis. Realising he was losing the argument Davis let out a growl before heading back to his work station.

“Am I going to have to add these marshmallows to the list of things I owe you?” Emma asked Malfoy, not seeming to mind his arm around her.

“You don’t owe me anything Emma, don’t be silly,” Malfoy answered releasing her to wave his hand dismissively, his cheeks turning pink in embarrassment.

“What about last week when you stayed late to help me fix the potions I ruined, or last night when you were late meeting your friend because you were helping me clean up. It’s also thanks to you that I worked up the courage to ask out Jonny next door in creature control.”

“It was nothing; at least one of us won’t be spending Christmas alone,” Malfoy said with a shrug and a dejected sigh before sipping at his hot chocolate.

“None of that boy, you’re gorgeous so you won’t be alone for long. Why don’t you ask out Auror Potter, he likes boys and he’s not bad on the eyes?” Emma suggested causing Malfoy to choke on his drink before shooting her a wide eyed look. Something which irritated Harry, there was no reason for Malfoy to look like someone had just suggested he snog a dementor.

“I don’t think so, Slytherins are ambitious but not at the cost of self preservation. Potter isn’t the sort to hold back when you piss him off, trust me.”

Malfoy’s eyes seemed to have lost focus as he pressed his free hand to his chest. Bile burned the back of Harry’s throat, had the curse he used scarred? Snape had told him it wouldn’t, _yeah because he always told you the truth_ , Harry swallowed as his stomach churned; if he kept thinking about it he was going to puke.

“Draco?” Emma said placing her hand on top of Malfoy’s startling him.

“Sorry,” Malfoy said with a sheepish smile. “Come on hurry up and drink your hot chocolate we’ve still got a lot of work to do.”

Even though his tone was light there was heaviness around him as they finished their drinks in silence. Harry watched Malfoy put his mug back on the tray and head over to one of the work stations that Harry assumed was his. Sorting though bottles and jars Malfoy made notes after examining each one, his quill scratching quickly across the parchment.

Harry had seen enough and had heard much more than he wanted too, so a few minutes late when Davis left Harry snuck out behind him. He didn’t take off the cloak until he was back in his office with the door locked. He really shouldn’t have brought it today; just like he shouldn’t have followed Malfoy again since now he had even more questions than before and very few answers.

It seemed Malfoy did act more relaxed around his co-workers, except Davis. Likely there’s a story behind their strained relationship which Harry wouldn’t mind hearing, but knew there was little chance he would. Malfoy seemed to be very close to the older women Emma, all those things he’d helped her with and without wanting anything back, embarrassed by the very idea of it.

Just who the hell was Malfoy? When he’d been antagonising Davis he’d reminded Harry strongly of the boy who’d bullied him for years. Then with Emma he was a completely different person, all his arrogance gone replaced with insecurity and shy smiles. It was bloody infuriating because Harry found he was becoming fascinated by Malfoy, looking down at the cloak in his hands Harry knew he would be using it again.

All the guilt he’d felt about spying was forgotten, this was necessary, Harry had to know. So he could get Malfoy a good gift of course, a lie that not even Harry could force himself to really believe anymore.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-food

Harry found himself unable to concentrate for the rest of the day which was a big problem when he was sitting in a meeting with his boss.

Head Auror Hudson was briefing him and five others on a raid that was due to happen tomorrow. Someone working in the labs had managed to narrow down the whereabouts of some illegal potion smugglers from trace elements extracted from one of the seized potions and now they had found their hideout.

As Hudson droned on Harry was annoyed that the name of the lab worker wasn’t mentioned and asked who it had been. Hudson looked startled by the question, staring at Harry with a frown before asked why he wanted to know.

“Because they should get at least that much recognition for their help in this case.” Harry had answered ignoring the mutters and dirty looks from the other Aurors.

“Um well,” Hudson began to rifle through some papers before finding what he was looking for, “Ah, a Mr. Malloy, no sorry Malfoy,” Hudson finished as the murmurs grew louder.

Harry nodded, of course it had been Malfoy who had worked it out and it had only taken him four days to do it. Sometimes it took the Aurors several months to track down a criminal’s hideout, but thanks to Malfoy it had only taken a few weeks this time.

The meeting continued with Harry paying very little attention only bothering to take notes of the coordinates, his position and the time of the raid. Leaving as soon as possible Harry headed straight to his office, planning to wait for Malfoy after work and see where he went today.

However when he arrived at his office he found a memo waiting for him from Hermione apologising for Friday and asking if he was still coming to dinner later. Cancelling his plans to spy on Malfoy he scribbled a reply that he’d see them later, sending it to level 5 where Hermione worked.

Stopping off at Grimmauld place Harry changed out of his Auror robes into an old pair of jeans and one of his Weasley Christmas jumpers before flooing to his friend’s house.

“Harry, is the cottage pie alright?” Hermione asked half way through dinner.

“Huh, oh yeah it’s great Hermione as usual,” Harry replied quickly giving her a smile and taking a bite of the food he’d been pushing around his plate. It really was great but Harry’s mind was a thousand miles away with Malfoy, wondering what he was doing right now.

“It’s just you’ve been very quiet tonight, I’m sorry for shouting at you on Friday and…” Hermione began sounding nervous.

“Its fine, you were right I was being a bit childish about the whole thing,” Harry said cutting Hermione off, he didn’t want her to think he was still upset with her.

“Really,” Hermione said not even trying to hide her surprise; Ron was staring at him in confusion. Harry frowned at them until Hermione gave him a small smile; Ron however just looked more confused.

“Yes okay. I guess I just needed to have a bit of a rant to get over it. Actually I’m trying to think what to get him for this secret Santa thing, a real gift you know.”

Harry wondered if he was being too relaxed about the whole thing. Neither of them would really believe Harry had had a complete change of heart and accepted it so easily. Ron’s eyes were almost bulging out of their sockets and Hermione was studying him with sharp eyes.

“Look, I don’t want to start another fight ok, so I’m just gonna get a gift for the fucking git that doesn’t suck so I can go back to pretending he doesn’t exist.”

 _There, that was better_ , Harry made sure to put some irritation in his tone. Ron seemed to let out a relieved breath and Hermione nodded satisfied at his reasoning, believing that Harry was still annoyed about it.

“He works in the potion department so a book on potions or some new dragon hide gloves might be useful.”

“Yeah, thanks Mione they’re good ideas,” Harry said already knowing he wasn’t going to pick either of those things, he wanted something better. He knew he should drop the subject of Malfoy then but Harry couldn’t help mentioning his role in helping with the potion case they were working on and would hopeful wrap up soon.

“How do you know that? They never name the lab workers during briefings,” Ron chimed in before shovelling a forkful of food into his mouth. Hermione’s head whipped around as she stared at Harry with a small frown. _Thanks Ron_ , Harry thought trying to act like it was nothing.

“New policy, part of their plan to build relations between departments. As if the lab workers egos aren’t already big enough,” Harry joked, guilt making his chest feel tight as he thought of Malfoy and the others working in that tiny room.

He’d always thought their department was bigger, but it was just the four of them hidden on the fourth floor with the magical creature division. Sharing one cramped room while the head of the department working next door to them in a office the size of Harry’s cupboard at the Dursleys. He was so busy thinking about all the times he’d moaned about results taking too long, that Harry didn’t realise Hermione had been talking to him.

“Sorry what was that?” Harry asked as he was pulled away from his thoughts.

“I said that the potions department is the most cost effective department in the Ministry, which is quite impressive then you look at how low their budget is,” Hermione said her tone changing into what Harry privately thought of as _lecture mode_. “Only ten percent of their funding comes from the Ministry the rest comes from outside agencies like St.Mungo who they supple with rare potions like wolfs bane and private donations from people for research into creating new potions.”

“I didn’t know they made wolfs bane for St.Mungo’s,” Harry said hoping no-one noticed how amazed he was. How did they have time to do that on top of all the work they did for the Aurors?

“They’ve only begun making the wolfs bane in the last 3 years when the laws concerning werewolves changed, before that wolfs bane could only be bought from independent potioneers mostly due to the difficulty in brewing and the price of the ingredients.”

“But you just said their budget was really low so how can they afford to make the potion?” Harry asked feeling perplexed, just how much did they do in the potions department?

“Someone was able to reduce the cost with a new version of wolfs bane, it even has less side effects than the old one. It was thanks to this discovery that the laws could be changed so that anyone infected with lycanthropy has access to wolf bane on request.” She sounded overly pleased by this and Harry remembered she had been one of the few people arguing that the law be changed.

“So who made this new version then?” Harry asked his food forgotten in his hunger to learn more about Malfoy’s department.

“I don’t know,” she finally admits, crossing her arms and pursing her lips together in frustration.

“There must be a record of it in the potions department, someone must know,” Harry pointed out but Hermione shook her head.

“I’ve tried to find out but the potion recipe was sent to the department anonymously. However there was something unusual about the recipe and I have a theory about who created it.” She said her voice dropping to a whisper before she continued, as if she was sharing a secret.

“Remember the half blood prince’s book you had in 6th year,” Harry nodded confused as to why Hermione was bringing it up. “The new version of wolfs bane states that one of the ingredients should be juiced by pressing on it with the side of a knife. Sound familiar?” Harry’s eyebrows rose as he remembered that the prince had also used that method.

“You think Snape wrote the recipe?” Harry practically shouted, as Hermione nodded vigorously.

“Either someone found his recipe or they worked very closely with him and there’s only one person I can think of who it could be.” Harry’s mind had already arrived at the point Hermione was hinting at.

“Malfoy,” he said with a gasp, “Snape either gave the recipe to Malfoy or he created it himself, as Snape’s favourite student he probably picked up some of Snape's tricks like the thing with the knife.”

“Hey how come you never said anything about this to me?” Ron shouted, looking upset at his girlfriend.

“Because I didn’t think you’d be interested,” She said shrugging. “Anyway, like you said Malfoy is involved with the potion somehow along with Snape but I can’t prove it. I tried talking to Malfoy about it once but he just glared at me and refused to say anything.”

“Personally I think you’re wrong,” Ron said, gulping and leaning back in his chair when Hermione turned to glare at him.

“What do you mean I’m wrong?” Hermione said very slowly and Ron seemed to realise that he was in big trouble unless he gave her a very good reason. He really should have known better than to suggest Hermione was wrong unless he wanted to spend another night on the sofa.

“Well, um… it’s just that if… um, Malfoy had made or found the potion… well why wouldn’t he tell people…” his words trailed off as Hermione remained glaring at him before she looked down with a sigh.

“I don’t know, that’s the one thing that doesn’t make any sense. Creating a new potion or even just improving one is very important and comes with a large amount of prestige in the wizarding world. If Malfoy had named himself as the creator, whether it was true or not he would have been offered awards. He could have made a fortune with it as a private potioneer. So why would he give it away and continue working in the Ministry’s potions department? It doesn’t make any sense.”

Harry had to agree that it didn’t and added it to the growing list of questions he had about Draco Malfoy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-dessert

The raid had been a complete success, with only one Auror receiving minor injuries and for a change it wasn’t Harry. That didn’t mean that his muscles weren’t currently aching, his footsteps falling heavier than usual from the exhaustion that comes from expending a large amount of magic. Harry was just grabbing a coffee before he started on the report otherwise it was likely he’d pass out at his desk, maybe he should write the report tomorrow and call it a day.

He was debating if the grief he’d get from Hudson for leaving early was worth it when he saw Malfoy enter the cafeteria. Suddenly feeling much more awake Harry quickly pulled up a disillusionment charm, a small moan slipping from his mouth as his magic protested and made his head throb. It couldn’t be helped since he didn’t have his cloak on him, having left it at home because of the raid.

Slowly Harry rose to his feet, the muscles in his calves burning from chasing down one of their perps who had tried to make a run for it.

Once he felt like they would in fact support him Harry stepped closer to Malfoy, who was smiling at the cafeteria worker so wide that he had dimples in his cheeks. Something Harry did not find cute, _because adorable is much more actuate_ , pushing the thought aside Harry focused on what Malfoy was saying and not his stupid dimples.

“My darling tell me is there anything on the menu as sweet as you are,” Malfoy purred, giving the women behind the counter a wink.

“Oh you charmer, you can try any tricks you want but you are not getting a free dessert.” The women replied shaking a finger at Malfoy.

“You wound me my love, do you truly believe that I would try something like that. My heart bleeds at your harsh words; I fear I might die without a taste of your famous cakes,” Malfoy finished with a pout which Harry also did not find cute. The women however just laughed at Malfoy’s expression.

“You try the same thing on everyone who works here; if you want a cake you’ll have to pay for it just like everyone else.” She stated fixing him with a hard look; a second later Malfoy sighed and smirked at her.

“Well you can’t blame a guy for trying not if there’s a chance if could work. Speaking of which what are my chances of talking you into letting me have a slightly larger slice of cake?” The women laughed again, but from the gleam in her eye Harry was sure she was going to give in to Malfoy’s plea.

“Just a little bigger,” She said cutting Malfoy a generous slice of chocolate cake that looked so good that Harry felt his own mouth water. “You and your sweets, I don’t know how you stay so slim when that’s all you ever eat,” She said as she handed over the plate to Malfoy who was grinning again, eyes shining with joy at the indulgent treat.

“Just lucky I guess and why would anyone want to eat anything other than sweets? Nothing compares to the taste of chocolate melting on your tongue or licking sugar from your lips. I fear that one day people will realise that such things are a sin and make all sweets illegal.”

Malfoy’s tone was completely serious which just made the women shake her head at him and wave him away. Malfoy gave her one last smirk before heading over to a table and sitting down with the plate before him, a childish look of excitement on his face.

Harry found a chair close by where he could watch Malfoy discretely and finally sank down into the seat holding back a groan. Which was something Harry couldn’t say for Malfoy, at the first forkful of cake the blonde moaned, his eyes dropping closed as he chewed, and his tongue ran over his lips collecting the last traces of chocolate.

“Better than sex.” Harry heard Malfoy mutter before he opened his eyes and took another forkful.

Harry decided Malfoy was right about sweets being a sin; it should be illegal to eat cake the way he did. The expression on Malfoy’s face, the way he licked and sucked on his lips unwilling to let a single crumb escape and the sounds.

Sweet Merlin, the sounds that he made, soft moans and deep hums that were more sexually charged that the filthiest dirty talk. Harry had to look away after only a moment feeling his face flush and his cock stir, he wasn’t going to get hard over Malfoy. He was most definitely not going to get hard over watching Malfoy eat a fucking slice of cake, however his cock wasn’t listening.

Even turned away every noise that came from Malfoy’s mouth made him twitch in his trousers, it didn’t help that his mind was happily supplying ideas of all the other things that might cause Malfoy to make those sounds. Not sure how much more he could take before he forgot that the cafeteria of his work place was not a good place to wank, Harry was grateful when he heard another person speak.

“Why am I not surprised to find you here, did you at least eat a proper meal first?”

Harry turned to see Emma from the labs sitting opposite Malfoy a cup of tea held between both hands.

“Nope,” Malfoy replied without a trace of remorse, in fact he seemed pleased at his declaration. “This is the food of the gods Emma, love in edible form and the only thing I need to sustain me.” He proclaimed with a wave of his fork before using it to scoop up more cake, popping it into his mouth with a murmur of appreciation.

“Really, you’re going to be bouncing of the walls all evening and Davis is already in a foul mood,” Emma said scolding Malfoy who dropped his fork and used his finger to collect some of the soft chocolate filling and sucked it into his mouth making his cheeks hollow. “You’ll never find a nice boy with manners like that.”

“And what makes you think I have any interest in a nice boy?” Malfoy said after removing his finger, raising an eyebrow at the older women.

“Oh you cheeky thing,” Emma said but she was smiling, reaching out she placed her hand on Malfoy’s. “Fine if you promise to behave yourself I’ll make you some of my mint chocolate cookies.”

Malfoy instantly sat up straighter, and nodded his head towards the older women.

“I understand Madam I wish to convey my deepest apologies for my distasteful manners and beg that you excuse my poor behaviour.” Emma rolled her eyes at Malfoy, who gave her a dimpled smile.

“All it takes is the promise of cookies to make you behave like a gentleman, are my cookies really that good?” Emma teased.

“Yes, not that is matters. I can’t help myself, I adore sweets and homemade sweets are even better. Honestly make me cookies and I’ll love you forever.”

He sounded so sincere that Harry believed he really meant it.

“I know dear that’s why I’m stuck with you now,” Emma said as she stood running her hand over Malfoy’s head. “Hurry up and finish your chocolate we still have work to do.”

Malfoy blushed at her mocking him, “Yes Madam,” He said softly looking so much younger for a second before the tiredness sank back in making him look worn out.

He finished the last few bites without any of his earlier gusto then pulling himself to his feet; Malfoy took a deep breath, straightened his back and headed out. Watching this Harry took his own deep breath and let go of the charm hiding him, well he now knew what would make a great gift for Malfoy. That meant he no longer had a reason to spy on him, _you didn’t have a reason before_ , the words whispered in his head. No he hadn’t but that also meant he had no reason to stop now, Harry wasn’t sure he could even if he tried.

Malfoy was a puzzle that Harry was determined to solve, and if a tiny bit of Harry wanted to keep watching Malfoy because he was nice to look at, well that was just a perk right.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> picture-niffler

Harry had been watching Malfoy for over a week now, studying his every move at work and there was still more Harry wanted to know. Like a niffler with gold Harry was hoarding every little bit of information he could get about Malfoy and still he craved more, searching further out until he was following him home.

He hadn’t ever snuck in, that was the one line Harry refused to cross. Watching Malfoy when he was in public Harry could justify but breaking into the guys’ house was wrong, not only by the law but his own moral code. So Harry allowed himself a bit of time everyday to watch Malfoy, using the blonde's schedule to plan the best times to do so. There was so many new things that Harry learned about Malfoy.

He learned why Malfoy and Davis didn’t get along and why he treated Emma so well after listening to a conversation between the two of them last Friday. Turns out that Davis has been giving Malfoy a hard time since he started working there, refusing to let go completely of Malfoy’s past. Emma had been the only one who had been nice to him from the start, helping him get settled in and defending him when Davis gave him trouble.

Since then Malfoy had trusted her completely and still did everything he could to repay her for her kindness towards him. Harry couldn’t help but see how alike Emma and Molly were, taking on an almost mothering role. Instantly Harry warmed to the older women and enjoyed seeing her and Malfoy joking with each other.

He learned that Malfoy was overly protective of the people he cared about. On Monday Harry watched Davis, who he was really starting to dislike, stomp around the small potions room in a temper before turning on Malfoy.

“Malfoy, why haven’t you finished your reports yet, I need you to start on the wolfs bane!” Malfoy had just sneered at him, and then turned away ignoring him.

“Did you hear me Malfoy, stop slacking.”

“You aren’t my fucking boss, if you’ve got time to shout at me then why don’t you make the wolfs bane,” Malfoy answered his voice cold, Davis looked angrily at him for a moment their eyes locking before he looked away. Spotting Emma, Davis turned on her next.

“Where are the order forms I asked you for?” he demanded.

“I haven’t had time to sort them yet I’ll get to them in a minute why don’t you catalogue the new supplies while you’re waiting,” She said calmly, which just seemed to piss Davis off more.

“Because I asked you for those fucking forms yesterday, and I’m not going to do your job for you, lazy fucking bitch.”

The words were barely out of his mouth before Malfoy was stood before him, his wand pressing into Davis throat, silver eyes flashing with anger.

“If you ever speak to her that way again then I will no longer only have attempted murder charges to my name, have I made myself clear?” Malfoy hissed.

Davis had gone white in shock. He was always snapping at Malfoy and the blonde would either ignore him or snap something witty back but he had never drawn his wand. When Davis didn’t answer Malfoy moved closer, uncaring that he had to look up at the taller man.

“I said is that clear? You can insult me, shout at me until you’re blue in the face, hell hex me if it will make you feel like a man, but you do NOT talk to a lady like that and most defiantly NOT one of my friends.”

Malfoy’s voice then dropped to a whisper that Harry only just managed to hear.

“Because I will make you suffer for it and I’ll still be smiling when they drag me off to Azkaban away from your mangled body.”

Stepping back Malfoy lowered his wand, and smiled at Davis, it wasn’t a nice smile not when his eyes still burned with hatred.

“I’ve finished my reports so I’ll go start the wolfs bane now, why don’t you sort out the new supplies Davis?” Malfoy’s asked his tone light but it clearly wasn’t a question and Davis knew it, with a nod he scurried off.

“I can look after myself boy, I’ve been working here for a while and been dealing with Davis’s temper for years,” Emma said from her desk. Malfoy turned to look at her his face softening.

“Not anymore you don’t. I’m a Slytherin and we look after each other, you have my back and I have yours, forever.” Giving her a small bow Malfoy headed over to the potion station to begin brewing.

On Wednesday he learned that Malfoy was funny and loved acting over dramatically about everything, like when he saw Malfoy drag himself into work that morning, eyes still puffy and yawning.

“Sweet Merlin the sun isn’t even up yet,” Malfoy moaned dropping into his seat and resting his head on his crossed arms placed on his desk.

“Young ones these days, they’ve got no stamina,” Jacob teased. Malfoy instantly jerked his head up.

“Believe me I have plenty of stamina,” Malfoy said flirtingly giving Jacob a wink, who blushed. “But no-one can be expected to work under such terrible conditions. I haven’t had a cup of tea yet, and can’t function until I’ve had at least three.” Flopping back onto the desk Malfoy let out a groan.

“Tea, you don’t drink tea, it’s just wet sugar in a cup,” Jacob replied, which was quite true since Malfoy had 3 or 4 spoonfuls of sugar in his drink, Harry had no idea how he could take it so sweet.

“Do too, it’s just a very sweet tea,” Malfoy looked up and pouted at Jacob. “Will you get me a cup; I don’t have the strength to move, please,” He whined, clasping his hands in front of him. Jacob sighed but went out to get the tea from the upstairs cafeteria.

“Thank you, thank you, you beautiful man, I will write sonnets of your kindness,” Malfoy shouted out to his retreating back.

“Laying it on a bit thick there boy,” Emma sassed moving up behind Malfoy and stroking his hair. Malfoy leaned his head back to look up at her with a smile.

“And how are you my reason to get up at this ridiculous hour?” he asked making Emma giggle.

“How can you say things like that all the time?” she asked without answering his question.

“I took acting lessons when I was a child, part of being the perfect pureblood, I also sing, dance and play piano so it you ever want a show let me know. I also do parties, no one can make boring small talk like me and for an additional fee I will even pretend that I’m not as bent as a dodgy sickle. Can’t have my sexuality bring shame and embarrassment to the Malfoy name after all.” The last sentence was muttered bitterly.

“He’s a fool; you are an amazing young man. Don’t ever be ashamed of who you are sweetie, not for one second,” She said brushing Malfoy’s fringe back.

“What about who I use to be?”His voice becoming small as he asked, dropping his head he ran a hand over his left forearm. Emma leaned down wrapping her arms around his shoulders from behind.

“Everyone makes mistakes; anyone who says differently is a fucking liar,” Emma whispered and Malfoy let out a snort of laughter hearing her swear.

“Thanks. Now get the hell off me I’m not a bloody Hufflepuff,” He said pushing her arms away gently.

It was at that moment Harry realised that he really didn’t hate Malfoy anymore; he didn’t even dislike him, quite the opposite. There was even a small part of him that wanted to be Malfoy’s friend and was upset that it would likely never happen. _Well you did try and kill him_ , that was an accident Harry argued back with himself, plus he’d saved him from the fire, that had to count for something.

He also learnt that Malfoy worked bloody hard and was really fucking good at his job. Yesterday evening Harry had sat in the corner of the potions lab under his cloak and watched Malfoy wave off Emma and Jacob as they left for the night.

As soon as everyone was gone Malfoy let out a sigh, rubbed his hands over his face, then got to work .Harry saw him brew the healing potions for the Aurors, check their supplies for anything they were low on, run tests on a potion sent up by Auror Williams. He never seemed to stop, rushing from one thing to the next when he should have been home.

Two hours after everyone had left and with Malfoy looking ready to drop he finally finished cleaning up and grabbed his coat. Harry followed as he rode the elevator to the atrium, stepping off he headed for the muggle exit. Once outside in the falling snow Malfoy pulled his scarf tighter and slipped on his gloves before taking the 40 minute walk home to his muggle flat. Standing outside Harry waited to see the light turn on in the second floor apartment before disapparating with a crack to his own home.

Now It was Friday and Harry had just watched Malfoy storm into the Ministry with a face like thunder, something had happened and Harry was going to discover what.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-path through a park

Already hidden under his cloak he followed Malfoy down to the potions lab, almost getting smacked in the face by the door as it swung back from Malfoy throwing it open with more force than necessary.

“Goodness, what’s got your wand in a knot?” Emma asked the moment she saw Malfoy’s expression. Malfoy opened his mouth before closing it again and took a deep breath, some of the tension leaving his face.

“I don’t want to talk about it Emma,” He said a trace of annoyance still in his voice but Harry could tell he was trying not to snap at her.

“You might not want to but maybe you need to. It’s not like you to get this worked up unless it’s over something big,” Emma said moving closer to him, reaching out for him but her hand came away empty as he stepped out of reach.

“It’s personal, a family matter,” He said and the hurt on Emma’s face turned to realization as she nodded.

“Okay, I’m here if you want to talk sweetie,” Emma said not attempting to reach for him again.

“Thank you but I just want to get on with work, I need a distraction or I’m likely to turn Davis into a flobber worm and use him as an ingredient,” Malfoy said giving her a forced smile before turning away.

Harry had no idea what was going on? What had Malfoy meant by it’s a family matter? Now that he thought about it Malfoy never spoke of his parents and no one in the labs ever mentioned them. Even Emma despite being close to Malfoy never brought them up and from the way she’d dropped the subject earlier there was a reason behind it.

Harry had wondered why Malfoy was living in muggle London and not at the manor but had assumed it was just more convenient for work. However from the waves of aggravation he could feel coming off of Malfoy it was clear that there was much more to it than that. As much as he would love to get to the bottom of this newest mystery it was getting late and Harry had his own work to do, he’d try and see Malfoy again later.

When Davis came in late as usual, Harry snuck out and went up to his office. The paperwork building up on his desk, a testament to how much he had been fixating on Malfoy and ignoring his own work. Checking for any recent reports Harry was pleased to find that he had no assignments today, meaning he could stay in the Ministry and keep an eye on the moody blonde.

Sitting down Harry pulled his paperwork towards him, feeling less irritated about having to fill out forms than normal, which might be why he managed to get though so much of it. Casting a quick tempest charm and seeing it was almost 11, Harry put down his quill and prepared to go get a coffee, Malfoy always took a break about now. If Harry was luckily he might find out what had fazed the usually calm man.

Harry was reaching for the door handle when it opened and Ron walked in with Hermione.

“What are you guys doing here?” Harry said tersely.

“Came to see if you wanted to grab a coffee. Seems like you need one,” Ron said picking up on Harry’s tone; he peered over Harry’s shoulder. “Ah paperwork, that explains it.”

“Um yeah, I was just about to have a break, come on we’ll go down to the cafeteria,” Harry said, maybe he’d still be able to listen in on Malfoy and find out what’s going on with him today.

“We’ve got time, why don’t we go out for coffee and maybe a bite to eat,” Hermione suggested and Harry quickly had to scramble for an excuse to stay in the Ministry.

“I’m not really hungry and I have a lot of paperwork to catch up on, Hudson’s been breathing down my neck about leaving it until the last minute,” Harry lied, trying to make it sound like he was upset that they couldn’t go out.

“Oh, come on mate you can spare an hour, Hudson won’t notice,” Ron pleaded.

“Really, I can’t I’m sorry mate. I need this done before the weekend but I’ll make it up to you, why don’t we meet up for lunch tomorrow?” Harry said trying to appease the redhead.

Ron made a noise of annoyance but nodded and they all headed to the cafeteria, Harry quickly scanned the area. Malfoy wasn’t here yet, good, grabbing the coffees Harry made sure to lead his friends over to a table close to where Malfoy tended to sit.

“So how are you two?” he asked, his eyes turned towards the door waiting for Malfoy.

“Not bad, shops busy, loads of people coming to get Christmas gifts and all that. I had to beg George to let me take a break today, he’s even talking about opening the shop on Sundays so I won’t even get my day off anymore until after Christmas,” Ron complained frowning at the cup in his hand before taking a sip, face scrunching up in disgust.

“Yuck, I forgot how disgusting this stuff was, how can you drink it?”

Harry hadn’t really been listening to Ron because Malfoy had just walked in still looking pissed, he didn’t even bother trying to charm the young girl working the counter just shoved a handful of coins at her for a hot chocolate and an iced bun. Too busy sulking to notice Harry and his friends presence he sat at the table next to them frowning as he took a sip of his drink.

“He didn’t put marshmallows in it,” Harry muttered.

“What was that Harry?” Hermione said, reminding Harry who he was sat with, jerking his eyes away from Malfoy to Hermione who was staring hard at him.

“Oh, um, nothing sorry what were you saying Ron, something about working Sundays?”

Harry knew it was a weak attempt at changing the subject and avoid the questions he knew he was going to be asked.

“Don’t bother Harry. What’s going on? You didn’t take your eyes off Malfoy from the moment he walked in and you said something, something about marshmallows,” Hermione said firmly, eyes piecing into his own. How the hell was he going to get out of this, he couldn’t tell them he’d been stalking Malfoy.

“I remembered I was going to grab some marshmallow after work and I wasn’t staring at Malfoy I just got lost in thought, thinking about all the Christmas shopping I still have to do.” Harry hoped Hermione believed him but he wasn’t optimistic that she would. Hermione was bloody smart; she wouldn’t be fooled by his shit excuse.

“Really Harry, I thought you said that all that stuff with Malfoy was over and you were going to stop being childish about it,” She lectured him, and Harry wanted to point out that talking to him like a child would only make him act more like one.

“I am, all that stuff is in the past, I don’t care about it anymore. I was thinking about Christmas shopping and zoned out that’s all, I thought I smelled hot chocolate and it reminded me that I need to get some marshmallows.” Now he’d had more time to think about his lie he put more conviction into it, making it seem much more plausible.

“Why would hot chocolate make you think of marshmallows?” Ron asked.

“Because you can’t have hot chocolate without marshmallows, it’s barbaric,” Harry said looking away from his friends and unfortunately right at Malfoy who was frowning at him.

 _Shit he heard me_ , Harry though as he remembered that those were the exact words Malfoy had used. Quickly Harry turned back to his friends and changed the subject hoping Malfoy would forget what Harry had said.

“Anyway sounds like you have your hands full at work, have you managed to get all your Christmas shopping done?” Harry asked and watched Ron start blushing slightly, as he glanced at Hermione.

“Um yeah, I’m all done. I picked up the last thing yesterday during my lunch break ” Ron said smiling and Harry smiled too because he knew that what Ron had bought was an engagement ring. Ron was planning to pop the question on Christmas day during dinner at the burrow and Harry couldn’t be happier for his two best friends. Hermione was looking between the two of them, aware they knew something she didn’t.

“What was the last gift?” she asked Ron, Hermione hated not knowing something and Harry saw the panic in Ron’s face as he tried to distract her or at least stop her asking more questions.

Harry turned away so he wouldn’t laugh his eyes going back to Malfoy sat beside him. The blonde was pulling a handful of marshmallows from his pocket and dropping them into his drink, when he saw Harry looking he scowled at him, daring him to say something. Instead Harry crooked his finger wandlessly summoning one of the marshmallows as it fell towards Malfoy’s cup, catching it Harry popped it into his mouth with a smirk.

“Right, I’ve got to go back to work. I’ll see you tomorrow Ron, lunch on me ok.”

His friends stopped their heated conversation long enough to say goodbye before going back at it. Shaking his head Harry rose to his feet and headed out, stopping for a second to look back and found Malfoy staring after him with an expression of shock, at least it was a change from his usual scowl.

Harry made sure to wait until he was out of sight to let a large smile spread across his face, wondering what Malfoy was thinking right now and if he was more or less pissed off than he had been this morning because of Harry’s stunt.

Since Harry hadn’t been able to discover what was going on with Malfoy he waited for him after work, invisibility cloak wrapped tightly around him, he followed Malfoy up the snow covered street and through a park. The trees decorated in lights making the snow sparkle and transforming the area into something beautiful.

Malfoy steps seemed to slow as he took in the sight around him, breath clouding from his mouth as he sighed. It was such a sad sound Harry wanted to reach out for the blonde and ask him why he was upset but he didn’t dare. Staying silent he walked quietly behind him until he reached his flat. Keys in hand Malfoy paused, biting at his lip worriedly. What could make him so nervous about going home Harry wondered, curiosity burning in him. When Malfoy finally opened the door Harry stepped through too, crossing the line he promised he wouldn’t.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-malfoy crest ring

As the pair climbed the stairs, Harry’s mind was going crazy, _what the hell are you doing?_ His brain screamed at him. He had sworn to himself when he started following Malfoy home that that would be as far as he went. He had promised that his obsession and how he hated using that word would not get out of hand, that he wouldn’t ever set foot in Malfoy’s home.

There was still time to turn around, to go back before he stepped over the line, as Malfoy unlocked the door to his apartment and walked in, Harry walked forward too. He couldn’t turn back he needed to know why Malfoy was angry, why he was sad, why he was afraid of going into his own home. Harry wasn’t just curious, he was worried, worried something was wrong and Malfoy needed help.

A hero complex Hermione called it, Harry’s desperate need to save people when they were in trouble and it wasn’t like this was the first time Harry had wanted to save Malfoy.

Stepping to the side Harry stayed out of the way while Malfoy closed and locked the door. After removing his gloves he pulled out his wand giving it a flick into the room tidying away the little bits of mess. The muggle fiction book rising from the coffee table in the centre of the room to take its place on a small book shelf. A few empty cups going to the small kitchen on the right and washing themselves in the sink. The hoodie thrown over the back of the sofa flew into a room at the back, most likely Malfoy’s bedroom, the door closing before Harry could see inside.

Taking off his coat and scarf Malfoy hung them on a hook on the back of the door. Once that had been completed Malfoy walked over to the kitchen and began to prepare tea in an elegant silver teapot, placing two delicate china cups and saucers on a silver tray while it boiled. Once the teapot was ready he added it to the tray with a bowl of sugar and a small jug of milk and carried it over to the coffee table. Waving his wand Malfoy cast a few vanity charms to remove the creases from his robes and neaten his hair before lastly he cast a tempus charm.

“Let it begin,” he muttered standing unmoving beside the table staring forward. Harry wasn’t stupid he’d noticed the extra cup, someone was coming, someone Malfoy was expecting. The way he stood with his back perfectly straight and the tension on his face, as well as his hesitation earlier told Harry it wasn’t someone he was looking forward to seeing. Malfoy had mentioned family earlier and Harry was really hoping Lucius wasn’t about to appear in Malfoy’s living room. A crack of apparation and Narcissa Malfoy appeared before her son.

“Draco my darling,” she said reaching out to hug him, unbothered when Malfoy returned it without any enthusiasm.

“Mother, I received your letter this morning, perhaps in future you could give me a little more warning,” Malfoy said in the overly snobby accent he’d had at school and Harry had only heard used mockingly in the weeks he’d been watching him.

“It is never wise to give someone too much time to prepare my dear,” Narcissa said with a small smile. Malfoy nodded and gestured towards the sofa next to the coffee table for her to sit. She did after giving the sofa a look of disgust, which Harry didn’t understand. It was a nice soft looking sofa covered in dark blue fabric, the same dark blue as the curtains and the cabinets in the kitchen.

“May I be so forward as to ask what bought on this sudden urge to visit, your letter didn’t say,” Malfoy said as he began to pour the tea, putting one sugar and a tiny splash of milk into the cup for his mother before adding two sugars and milk to his own. Malfoy never usually had less than three spoonfuls of sugar but when Narcissa tsked at Malfoy after two it was clear why he had.

“I wanted to invite you to attend the Christmas party I am throwing at the manor,,” Narcissa said accepting her cup from Malfoy.

“I was under the impression I was no longer welcome at the manor, I believe fathers exact words were that until I am ready to stop being a complete disappointment I am no longer his son,” Malfoy said somehow without a trace of bitterness. Harry however was shocked, had Lucius really said that to his own child, his only child. Harry had never doubted that the man was an arsehole and this news just made Harry loath the man more.

“Your father was upset that’s all, of course he didn’t mean it,” Narcissa said giving a dismissive wave before sipping her tea, while Malfoy clenched his jaw at her flippant response. Harry however was forced to bite his tongue, how was Malfoy able to sit there so calmly.

“So will you be coming to the party? I’ve taken the liberty of also inviting the Greengrass’s, their youngest daughter has grown into a lovely woman.”

Malfoy’s eyes narrowed and he put his cup down, making it rattle against the saucer in his haste.

“Let’s stop playing games mother; I am far too old to play them anymore and frankly I’m in no mood for subtleties. You’re here because you’re hoping to set me up with some pureblood girl at this Christmas party. Well I’m sorry to inform you that I am in fact still gay so I won’t be marring the witch you’ve picked out for me,” Malfoy finished his accent slipping into what Harry was more used to, even as his tone turned harsh and biting. He wasn’t calm anymore and Harry actually liked him better like this than when he was acting all formal and stuffy.

“My Dear, that is simply a small inconvenience and easy solved by taking a lover, discretely of course. I’ve spoken to your father and he will allow you to return to the manor if you agree to behave as a Malfoy should.”

Harry’s mouth dropped open at Narcissa’s bored tone as if she was discussing the weather and not planning an arranged marriage for her gay son.

Malfoy wasn’t shocked; he was furious now, rising to his feet and walking away from her a few steps before spinning back. His eyes burned and his hands were curled into fists at his side.

“A small inconvenience! Is that what you’re calling it now? Is having to give up everything I am a small inconvenience too?” he shouted and Harry wanted to cheer, _that’s right you tell her_.

“Don’t be so dramatic Draco; you’ve always had a habit of getting worked up over the smallest things,” Narcissa said as if Malfoy was a child throwing a tantrum.

“I’m being dramatic!” Malfoy threw his head back as he laughed manically before fixing his mother with a cold glare. “Father tried to curse me when I told him I was gay and when that didn’t work he activated the manor’s wards to forcibly throw me out. That was three years ago and he hasn’t spoken a single word to me since but you’re right I’m being dramatic.”

“Your father was shocked and rightly so, but you know how much he cares about you, he just wants what’s best for you, as do I.”

“No he wants me to be just like him and it has become painfully clear that it will never happen. I tried to be the son he wanted, one he could be proud of but I was never good enough. All I did was make myself miserable; I don’t want to feel like that anymore,” Malfoy said shaking his head, before looking at his mother with eyes that begged for understanding. It was clear from the small frown on her face that Narcissa couldn’t understand but Harry did. He’d spent most of his life having to live up to other’s people expectations of him and the pressure had almost made him lose his mind before he decided to just be himself.

“Draco please, you can’t honestly want to waste your life playing with potions and living in this dirty muggle apartment. You are our son and we care about your wellbeing,” Narcissa said her cold tone softening slightly.

“Enough that you would ask me to marry a woman I will never love, to bring a child into this world and force them along the same path, to abandon the job I excel at and the home I have built. For what? Or should that be for whom?” Malfoy said before taking a calming breath, and fixing his eyes on his mothers. “I don’t want to take over from father, I don’t want to live at the manor, I want to play with potions as you call it, and I want to be happy. For once in my life I am happy mother, happy with who I am and what I am doing and if you can’t accept that, accept me, then I think it would be best if you left.”

The hard look on Narcissa’s face crumbled at Malfoy’s words, suddenly she was on her feet rushing to her son. Her hands cupping his face, one moving upwards to brush his hair away from his eye before returning to his cheek.

“Draco, my dragon you don’t mean that, you are a Malfoy,” She said her voice no longer flat and calm instead holding a note of panic or fear, Harry wasn’t sure which. Malfoy placed his hands over hers for a moment letting his eyes fall closed; he swallowed before pulling them away and looked at her.

“Not anymore I’m not,” Malfoy said taking off the heavy silver ring he wore that was embossed with the Malfoy crest and pushing it into her hand with a sad smile. “I’m sorry mother.”

“Draco please think about this,” Narcissa begged.

“I have mother, I am not making this decision lightly but I am tired of waiting and hoping for your approval, I can’t do it anymore.”

Malfoy’s hands reached up to hold the top of his mother’s arms as he pressed a kiss to her cheek. “I wish you a life full of happiness, when you wish the same for me; you are welcome to come back.”

His eyes filling with tears as his arms moved to wrap around his mother in a hug, holding on to her tightly for a moment until he let go, stepping back. “Goodbye, tell father I…I… tell him goodbye for me. I love you.”

“I love you too my dragon,” Narcissa said back, looking away before with a crack she was gone, leaving Malfoy alone. Then as if all his strength had left him, Malfoy fell to his knees as the tears finally began to fall.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-cuddle weather

Malfoy cried with his hands covering his face, as if even alone he couldn’t stand the idea of someone seeing him like this.

Harry felt a fresh wave of guilt surge through him, engulfing him completely, he shouldn’t be seeing this, didn’t want to see it. He curled his hands into fists in order to hold himself back, fighting the desire to rush forward and take the broken man in his arms. He couldn’t do that, it wouldn’t help; it would just make everything worse. He’d seen Malfoy cry once before in 6th year, he’d looked scared and desperate and this seemed exactly like that until Malfoy lifted his head. Wiping the tears from his face with his sleeve and taking a shuddering breath, Malfoy smiled as he whispered ‘I’m free’.

The smile was small and his voice still held traces of sadness but there was also joy, relief and even a spark of determination in his eyes.

Harry watched as Malfoy stood up, walking across the room with steps that seemed somehow lighter into the room Harry had assumed to be his bedroom.

Harry remained frozen to the spot wondering what was happening, why Malfoy had seemed so purposeful as he’d walked into the room. A few minutes past and Malfoy returned, the robes he’d wore to work gone, replaced with black muggle joggers and a pale blue t-shirt, that was a little too large for his slim frame. Stuffed under his arm he carried a soft woolly blanket, throwing it onto the sofa he continued to the kitchen grabbing an armful of snacks including a tub of ice cream. Placing his feast down on the table, he walked over to a cabinet which he opened to show the TV hidden inside. Turning it on, Malfoy grabbed the control then fell backwards onto the sofa without any of the usual grace he had and let out a chuckle.

Moving around for a moment Malfoy got himself comfortable sitting cross-legged and wrapped in the blanket, before flicking though the channels until finding a film. It was another Christmas one with a similar story to the one Harry had watched weeks ago. Smiling now Malfoy relaxed, nibbling on his collection of treats as he watched the movie, his fascination with the story displayed by the joy on his face.

Harry’s mind was still reeling from everything, Malfoy had just cut all ties to his family because he wanted to be happy, wanted to sit in his muggle flat, dressed in muggle clothes, eating muggle sweets, watching muggle TV and working in the shitty Ministry potion labs.

Harry felt like he’d walked into some weird alternative world or perhaps a dream, he pinched the back of his hand needing to be sure. _Not a dream then_ , his mind said as the stinging pain faded and Malfoy remain sat in front of him. Needing something to ground himself Harry began to look around Malfoy’s flat, to the left was a large bay window looking out onto the street outside, and to the right the tiny kitchen area with a small oven, microwave and fridge freezer squeezed into the cramped space. Directly in front of Harry were two doors one obliviously leading to the bedroom and the other Harry assumed was to the bathroom, however with both doors shut he couldn’t see more.

Confident that the noise of the TV would cover the sound of his footsteps, Harry started to move around the room carefully. He spotted a few pictures hung on the wall and headed towards them, watching the small scenes play over and over again. There was one of Malfoy and his gang at Hogwarts in the Slytherin common room, probably sometime around 4th year. Malfoy, Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson were all squashed together on one settee, Malfoy laughing as he and Parkinson messed up each other’s hair annoying the other two in the picture.

The next photo was older showing Malfoy and Parkinson again, they must be about 7 or 8, and both of them lying on a four post bed with their heads hanging off the end grinning at each other, Harry had to smile seeing the silly expressions on their young faces. The next picture was even older showing a tiny Malfoy no more than 2 or 3 being held in Narcissa's arms as she rocked the small boy, her lips moving silently and Harry wondered what she was saying.

The last photo was more recent and showed Malfoy and Emma raising glasses filled with brightly coloured liquid, Harry had to cover his mouth as the Malfoy in the picture downed his drink before falling off the chair he was sitting on. It must have been taken on a night out Harry reasoned, taking in Malfoy’s flushed cheeks and eyes glazed from booze. After a few minutes of watching the pictures loop, Harry continued walking around the room coming to the bookcase next to the window.

His eyes scanned the books which were a collection of potions texts and muggle fiction, Harry smiled at the dog eared copies of Terry Pratchett as he thought of Malfoy reading stories about witches and wizards written by someone who believed magic to be a myth.

He’d read one of them once, at Hermione’s insistence and he could see why Malfoy would enjoy the dry and sometimes dark humour. He’d always planned to read them but work kept him too busy and after reading reports most of the day the last thing he wanted to do was more reading, still maybe he should find time.

Finally he moved on to a small Christmas tree in the corner next to the TV, the white lights flickering and reflecting off the various coloured ornaments hanging from the branches.

He was distracted from his thoughts by Malfoy speaking and turned to look at the blonde still on the sofa. Walking closer Harry came up beside Malfoy, eyes going to the TV where two young lovers were curled up together on a window seat looking at the snow outside. ‘It’s the perfect weather for cuddling’ the man on screen said making Malfoy snort.

“Yeah if you have someone to cuddle, lucky bastard ” Malfoy muttered before throwing a handful of skittles at the TV, rattling as they hit the screen before landing on the cream carpet. Malfoy huffed as he pulled out his wand vanishing them, the TV screen going statically for a second from the magic being used near it.

Harry studied Malfoy feeling he could do so with a clear head now he’d had time to calm down. He looked tired and worn, dark circles under his eyes from work and stress and from the way he was slumped in the sofa Harry thought he was still upset about what had happened earlier.

However there was a softness about him, a sense of peace as he burrowed into his blanket, something that hadn’t been there this morning when he’d walked into work. Then he’d been tense and sharp, _on edge_ , Harry’s mind supplied and it was a very good description.

Malfoy always seemed to be on edge even when he was joking with Emma at work there was an undercurrent of wariness about him, like he couldn’t stop being aware of everyone else around him. Here Malfoy was free from the pressures of the world and also now his parents, and Harry wondered if finally ridding himself of that weight would help Malfoy. Looking at him now as he laughed at something one of the actors said and half buried under the blanket he looked happier than he ever had at school, it suited him more than his usual sneer.

Harry ended up spending the next few hours sitting in the corner watching Malfoy argue with the TV, coming out with sarcastic comments that made Harry smirk until Malfoy started to yawn.

Standing Malfoy stretched a small moan escaping his mouth with the action before he turned off the TV, pulling out his wand; he cleaned up the sweets and sent the empty packets to the bin. Grabbing the blanket off the sofa he headed for the bedroom, opening the door he stepped in and closed it behind him. Something that Harry was both happy and upset about since he wanted to see what Malfoy’s room looked like but watching Malfoy sleep would really be creepy, _and sitting in his living room isn’t?_ His mind asked.

Harry frowned, he really shouldn’t be here spying on Malfoy it was wrong, if it was the other way round he’d be furious, however even knowing that Harry was sure he was going to do it again.

“Night Draco,” Harry whispered before sneaking out of Malfoy’s flat, using his magic to relock the door before he spun on the spot disapparating to Grimmauld place and climbing into his own bed to get some sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-ice skating

Harry slept in late the next morning, slowly stirring awake as the memories resurfaced of what had happened the night before.

 _Shit_ , his mind screamed, had he really broken into Malfoy’s flat and then spent the evening watching him laugh, cry and swear at a Christmas movie? Oh that was a problem, a big problem, a massive problem, no something even bigger than that because he was starting to care about Malfoy. That was bad, really bad because… because… _he’s Malfoy_ , his brain supplied only the words failed to have the impact they once did. It didn’t take long for Harry to work out that it was because he wasn’t Malfoy, he was Draco and Harry liked Draco.

He didn’t mean that Draco was a different person, he wasn’t, he was still Malfoy but now he was so much more than his old school bully. In fairness Draco was still selfish and arrogant and he could be downright cruel sometimes; his tongue hadn’t dulled even slightly over the years but even those things Harry liked because he understood them now.

Harry could see now that Draco was selfish, with everything, his time, his thoughts, himself but that he would willingly share all those things with people he felt were worthy of them. He wasn’t so much selfish as selective, why should he give anything to someone who wouldn’t do the same for him?

Harry knew now that Draco wasn’t arrogant; he was defensive, building himself up to stop others tearing him down. The sneers and scowls he wore on his face were a form of protection, a pre-meditated attack against the attitudes of others. That his cruelty was a reaction to pain and came out when he was hurt, when his friends were hurt. Harsh words and viscous hexes because it was only fair that they felt the same way he did. It didn’t sit well with Harry that he was in that category, that Malfoy’s glares at him were because he still felt hurt by Harry.

He wanted to change that, wanted to be one of the few that Draco would smile at, would relax enough around to joke and laugh with. He wanted them to be friends, because Draco was funny, his dry sarcastic humour matched Harry’s and he’d found himself several times trying not to laugh as he watched the blonde.

Draco was also loyal, as loyal as any of Harry’s friends were, willing to fight for those he cared for without a moment’s hesitation. He was also really sweet and that thought made Harry pause because it wasn’t something he’d ever thought could be applied to Malfoy, but Draco was sweet and kind. Harry only had to think of how he had fussed over Parkinson getting cold or how he stayed late at work to help Emma to know that it was true.

Harry rolled over burying his face into his pillows and sighed because he knew they would never be friends; there was too much history, too much anger, hatred, pain for them to ever move past. Although Harry had, just by watching Draco he’d moved on, grown up but would Draco be able to do the same.

Harry wasn’t sure despite the small moment they’d had yesterday in the cafeteria, for all he knew once Draco had gotten over the shock he might have hated Harry even more. Then there was the fact that Harry had spied on him, followed him into his house, seeing things that Malfoy would never have wanted him or anyone else to see, he would never forgive him for that. Harry had already destroyed any chance he might have had to build a friendship with Draco the moment he’s stepped thought the door yesterday or even before that when he’d followed Malfoy as he rushed to meet Parkinson.

“Damn,” Harry muttered turning his face to the side and frowning. Why had he followed him in the first place? Even after thinking about it non-stop for days he still had no answer, not one he was happy with anyway. So what was he going to do now?

He could stop following Malfoy, try offering an olive branch along with his secret Santa present but would Draco even want to start over. He had no reason to want to be Harry’s friend and would more than likely view any attempts by Harry as suspicious.

It was a terrible plan; even if he managed to succeed Harry would have to hide that the only reason he’d decided to be his friend was because he had spied on him. Harry had always hated people who kept secrets from him and Draco was likely the same. Would he be able to gain Draco’s trust knowing he didn’t deserve it, that he had already betrayed him for no reason other than his own curiosity? It wasn’t like when they were at school or during the war, Malfoy wasn’t going out of his way to pick fights with Harry, he hadn’t been plotting or mixed up in something dark.

Malfoy had been doing everything he could to stay out of Harry’s way since the war ended and Harry had been doing the same. He’d had more important things to do than fight with the git, like track down and capture real criminals. Then he’d been compelled to follow Malfoy again and he feared it would end as badly as it had last time, only this time it might be him left bleeding.

This whole thing was messed up, if he hadn’t followed Malfoy then he would have a better chance of being his friend and wouldn’t be feeling guilty for spying on him but if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t want to be Malfoy’s friend because Draco would still be the git who had bullied him at school. The person who had made his life miserable, who had joined Voldemort’s side in the war, who had bled and cried on a bathroom floor, who had held on to Harry so tightly it left bruises as they’d flown out of the fire. Things had always been a mess between the two of them from the very beginning, _really_? his mind asked.

Harry searched back into his memories, the first time he’d met Malfoy had been on the train, no wait he met him before then at Madam Malkin’s and hadn’t liked him because he reminded him of Dudley. Harry was suddenly hit by the idea that their entire revelry at school might have been started by him, he had decided he didn’t like Malfoy just from one brief conversation.

Draco had offered to be his friend when they were 11; something he knew now meant a lot to the blonde. He’d been the one who had said no, who had already made up his mind that Malfoy was a bad person without a second thought and Draco had reacted by doing everything he could to hurt Harry.

“Fuck!” Harry shouted sitting up in bed and raking his fingers through his permanently messy hair, gripping it as his mind spun. What would have happened if he’d said yes, if he’d taken Malfoy’s hand? Would he have still called Hermione a mudblood, would he have made fun of Ron for being poor, would he have become a death eater? Harry shook his head to rid himself of the questions bombarding him, no way could something as simple as accepting a handshake change what happened and even if it could have changed things a little it was in the past now. What Harry needed to concentrate on was what the hell he was going to do now.

The smart thing to do would be to walk away, forget about Malfoy and any plans to be his friend, but could he do that? Harry was in too deep, was too obsessed with Malfoy and the glimpses of him he’d gleamed from spying on him. He knew he was skating on thin ice, he could hear it cracking beneath his feet, could feel it weakening and wasn’t sure how much longer it would last before it collapsed and he ended up drowning, if he wasn’t already.

Grabbing his wand Harry cast a tempus charm and swore. He had slept longer than he thought and had then spent so long thinking about Malfoy that he was going to be late meeting Ron for lunch. Not seeing any point in having breakfast Harry rushed thought his morning routine, grabbing the worlds fastest shower before tugging clothes on his still damp skin. Snatching up his thickest coat, Harry used the floo to get to the leaky cauldron, running out of the pub into Diagon Alley and onward to Weasleys Wizard Wheezes.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-hogwarts

Harry was gasping by the time he flew through the door of the joke shop; the bell overhead jiggling violently from how roughly he’d pushed the door open.

“I know I’m late, I’m really sorry mate,” Harry said rapidly his eyes locking on his friends behind the counter. Ron was frowning at him, his lips pressed into a thin line, but in the blink of an eye his face was splitting into a large grin. He moved round the counter, walking up to Harry and slapped him hard on the back.

“No worries mate, you actually came at the perfect moment. It was manic in here a little while ago. Seems to have calmed down now, so George might let me have a break,” Ron said while Harry tried to hide that his back was still stinging from Ron’s friendly greeting.

“He’s out back, let me tell him I’m going to take my lunch break then we can go.” At Harry’s nod Ron ran off, coming back a few minutes later with George in tow.

“Hey Harry, how's my littlest brother?” George teased.

“Hey, you might be older but me and Ron are both taller than you,” Harry shot back, he was only a few inches taller than George but Ron was a good head taller than his older brother.

“I guess but I’ll always be older so show me some respect, young people these days have no manners,” George said shaking his head in mocking despair.

“Ok old man, I’m fine and I hear the shops doing great,” Harry replied after chuckling at George’s antics.

“Why yes it is. You wouldn’t be interested in coming and working for me would you? I could certainly use the extra hands,” George asked half serious about the offer for a job. Harry shook his head and smiled at the redhead.

“Sorry, I’m happy where I am, I’m not gonna quit like this wimp,” Harry said nudging Ron next to him.

“Hey I’m not a wimp!” Ron shouted offended. “I just couldn’t stand all the paperwork it was boring as hell, nothing like I thought it would be.”

“True, the paperwork fucking sucks but it’s not bad enough to make me leave,” Harry said with a shrug, “Anyway, come on Ron, I haven’t eaten today and I’m starving.”

After saying goodbye and various reminders to Ron that he was to be back at work in an hour and not a minute later they finally left the shop. Walking along the busy street they ended up getting lunch at the leaky cauldron, since it was cheap and the food was good.

After walking in Harry and Ron headed straight for the bar, placing their orders with Tom, they then headed over to a table at the back where they were less likely to be bothered. Harry drew his wand putting up a muffliato charm, before beginning to talk to Ron, who launched into a tale about their latest product at the shop. Harry tried to listen but his mind was still consumed by Malfoy and what he was going to do, the guilt he felt weighing down on him heavily.

“Hey!”

Harry was pulled from his thoughts by a sharp flick to his forehead and glared at Ron.

“What was that for?” he said rubbing the sore spot.

“You were miles away; did you actually hear a word I’ve said for the last few minutes?” Ron asked raising his eyebrows and fixing Harry with a look that told him that Ron already knew the answer.

“No, sorry mate just got something on my mind,” Harry admitted.

“Ok what’s up? Is it a case?” Ron asked.

“No, not a case, it’s…” Harry wasn’t sure if he should tell Ron what was going on. He had a pretty good idea of how his friend would react but he needed to talk to someone before his head exploded.

“Come on spill it,” Ron stated leaning forward and looking so earnest that Harry felt his resolve crumble.

“Well…” Harry started only to stop when their food arrived, waiting for the server to leave before continuing. “You have to promise not to get mad and you can’t tell Hermione,” Harry said seriously, Hermione would rip him a new one if she found out about what he’d been doing.

“Damn what the hell’s going on. You know I can’t keep things from Mione. She’s a genius and would know in a second; just trying to keep her from finding out about the proposal is hard enough,” Ron said with a frown. Harry understood his annoyance; Hermione had a knack for getting to the bottom of things.

“Just try to keep it a secret, if she works it out that’s fine, but promise you won’t get mad at me?” Harry tried again.

“Sure thing and I’m not gonna get mad at you,” Ron said with a nod.

“Are you sure?” Harry was starting to think that maybe this wasn’t a good idea; Ron really hated Malfoy after all.

“Come on spit it out,” Ron said his tone filled with exasperation. Deciding to just jump right into it Harry took a deep breath and let the words fly out of his mouth.

“I’ve been following Malfoy for the last couple of weeks and ...” Harry didn’t get to finish because Ron was suddenly shouting over the top of him.

“Merlin’s saggy tits, is this going to be like 6th year all over again. You were seriously obsessed with the blood git that year at Hogwarts.”

Harry flinched at the word obsessed, he’d used it himself but hearing it out loud made it sound worse. However Ron was right this was exactly like that year, with Malfoy consuming his every waking moment, except for one small difference.

“So what do you think he’s up too this time? Tampering with potions? Stealing supplies? Or is he starting up a neo-death eater group?” Ron asked and there was the difference. Harry wasn’t doing it to get Malfoy in trouble or because he thought he was doing something wrong. Harry’s mouth open and closed in shock at Ron’s theories before he jumped in to correct him.

“What? No nothing like that. I was going to say I think I’m starting to like him,” Harry finished not thinking about how it would sound to the redhead.

“WHAT!! YOU FANCY THE FERRET!” Ron bellowed even with the muffliato charm up several people turned their way.

“What no!” Harry hissed, as he glanced around hoping no-one had heard Ron’s actual words. “I didn’t mean in like that…just that he’s not a git anymore or not much of one. He’s different than he was at school and I…” Harry words trailed off because he wasn’t sure what he wanted.

Ron’s accusation had seriously thrown him; he didn’t fancy Malfoy that was crazy. Sure, Malfoy was gay and well, he wasn’t bad to look at, perhaps Harry might think he’s attractive, sort of, but he’d never thought too much about it because Malfoy had been a complete wanker.

“Harry!” Ron’s voice broke through Harry’s mental debate.

“What?” Harry said feeling strange like the world had suddenly stopped turning.

“Mate you just trailed off and stared at the table, I tried calling your name loads and was about to flick you again.” Ron was looking worriedly at Harry, a small frown on his face as they locked eyes.

“Sorry just was thinking about something, um as I was saying I don’t fancy Malfoy. I just think I’d like us to be friends or something, move on from the past like I told Hermione I had,” Harry said flapping his hands as he tried to explain.

“Why?” Ron asked confused and Harry was grateful he wasn’t shouting and getting angry.

“He’s different now; he’s funny and really fucking hard working. Do you have any idea how much work they do in the potions labs? It’s ridiculous really and only four people work there!” Harry realized he was going off topic he wasn’t here to complain about unfair workloads. “I just think it would be nice if we could talk to each other without insults or hexes being thrown.”

“Like that would ever happen, you and Malfoy have never been able to do that. You couldn’t even sit in class together without somehow getting into a fight,” Ron said grinning.

“Why aren’t you more angry about this, you hate Malfoy?” Harry asked. Ron had always had an explosive temper, though it had mellowed a bit over the years.

“I know you well enough that once you’ve made up your mind there’s no changing it, so I might as well save my breath,” Ron said with a shrug.

“Plus you think it’ll never work.” Harry added aware that Ron was likely right and slumping back in his seat.

“I’d say it was impossible but that hasn’t stopped you before has it mate,” Ron said before taking another bite of food. Harry had forgotten about their meals and picked up his fork to push the sausages and mash around on his plate.

“Maybe, he’s just not who I always thought he was. It’s like there are all these different sides to him and I’ve only ever seen the worse one. Now I’ve seen all of them, he’s a fucking softy and really sweet to his friends and I can’t get my head round it. I swear it was like waking up and finding out the sky’s not blue or water isn’t wet.”

“Well technically the sky isn’t blue that’s a trick of the light and water isn’t wet at least that’s what Mione told me but I don’t understand it,” Ron rambled before shoving more food in his mouth; Harry glared at him because he wasn’t helping.

“You know what I meant; I swear you sound more like Hermione every day,” Harry teased.

“I know,” Ron said winking at Harry. “You sure you don’t fancy him because it kinda sounds like you do. I mean you just referred to Malfoy as sweet,” Ron said his face twisted in disgust at the very idea.

“I don’t fancy him,” Harry said again. At least he didn’t think he did, great now he had something else to worry and over think about. Perhaps talking to Ron had been a bad idea, he still didn’t know what to do and everything was worse now rather than better.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-all i want for chritmas is you...naked

Harry was in trouble, Ron hadn’t helped at all with his stupid comments about him fancying Malfoy, an idea Harry refusing to even consider. Instead he tried to come up with a way for them to become friends and he spent all of Monday at work trying to think of how he could possibility start a conversation with Malfoy that wouldn’t end in them throwing insults at each other.

If he was too friendly Malfoy would ask if he had taken a spell to the head or think he was up to something. If he tried to be funny there was a chance Malfoy would take it the wrong way and think Harry was taking the piss. There was also the fear that if he tried talking to the blonde he’d give away something that he shouldn’t know and Malfoy would find out that Harry had followed him. _Paranoid much_ , his mind whispered when he had thought of that but it was still a valid fear.

Unfortunately despite that fear Harry couldn’t keep away so at the end of his shift he pulled out his cloak and once again followed Malfoy home, including into his flat since he’d already done it once and couldn’t see how doing so again could make things worse? Well he now knew the answer to that question, as he stood in Malfoy’s flat and watched as the blonde begin pulling off his clothes. _Look away_ , his brain screamed but Harry couldn’t, his eyes refused to move away from the pale skin slowly being displayed.

 _Sweet Merlin_ , Harry thought as his mouth suddenly went dry and he swallowed to try and get some moisture back into it. Malfoy had walked into his flat and after locking the door and removing his coat and shoes; had headed straight for the bathroom only he’d left the door open as he began the shower. Harry who had been stood on the other side of the room could see everything as Draco begin undoing the buttons of his dark grey shirt, revealing a pale thankfully unscarred chest, the small pink nipples hardening in the cold air.

Harry licked his lips subconsciously, and took a step forward before realizing what he was doing. Stopping Harry tried again to look away because he really should not be perving on Draco while he took a shower, really he was going to look away any minute now and stare at the wall until Malfoy was dressed again. However despite repeatedly telling himself that Harry’s eyes stayed glued to Malfoy as he twisted his now clammy hands into his cloak to stop himself reaching for the now topless blonde or his own hardening cock.

He had always thought of Malfoy as skinny but in truth he was lean, his shoulders only a little wider than his narrow hips. His stomach was flat with only the hint of muscles beneath the smooth skin and a light trail of hair from his bellybutton headed downwards to the waistband of his trousers. The ones he was currently undoing with long delicate fingers, pushing them down and off, leaving him in nothing but a pair of tight black briefs and his socks. Harry could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his cock growing harder so that it was pressed uncomfortably against the zip of his work trousers; if he’d doubted it before he was now certainly that he was attracted to Malfoy and that Ron might have been right about Harry fancying him.

Draco braced his hand on the door frame as he lifted one foot then the other to take off his socks, throwing them into a basket in the corner of the tiny bathroom where his shirt and trousers had already been dumped. Standing up straight again Draco hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and Harry had to move closer, he had to be able to see all of Malfoy without anything blocking his view. By the time he’d walked around the sofa Malfoy had taken off the last item of clothing and was bending over to pick them up from the floor.

As he stood Harry was met with the sight of a gloriously naked Malfoy, _fuck_ , his brain whispered. Harry’s eyes instantly dropping to Draco’s pretty pink cock hanging from a patch of pale gold curls, it was a nice size, thin to match his frame and likely a good length when it hardened.

Harry would happily give up every gift he got for Christmas to see what it looked like hard and dripping with pre-cum. Then Malfoy turned around and Harry had to bite down hard on his lip to stop himself from moaning at the sight on Draco’s perfectly plump arse.

Fucking hell, he’d never ask for anything again if he could get his hands on Malfoy’s arse, squeeze it, lick it, fuck it. This was the moment Harry knew he was in trouble because his obsession was beginning to turn into an addiction; he didn’t think he’d ever be able to stop following Draco; not if this was the reward he got for it.

He watched Draco step into the shower the water darkening his platinum hair to dark gold, the water running down over his shoulders and back, between his arse cheeks. Harry pushed a hand to his aching cock, gripping it through the fabric and trying not to whimper at the desire building in his body. When Malfoy stretched his arms above his head, arching his back and let out a deep moan Harry moved to stand in the tiny room so he could see Malfoy from the side, his arse and cock both in view.

Harry’s eyes follow Malfoy’s hands as they ran through his hair, then down over his chest and wished it was his hands touching the blonde. Feeling the warm wet skin, tasting it with his tongue before biting down on one of his nipples that seemed to be begging for Harry’s attention. One of Draco’s hands trailed lower past his stomach until he wrapped it around his cock and Harry’s knees almost give out, _please please please,_ his mind chanted begging and pleading for Draco to keep going, keep touching.

For once the gods seem to be listening to Harry, as Draco slowly began to stroke his cock causing it to harden in his loosely closed fist. Harry used his own hands to desperately pull at his own trousers hoping that the sound of the shower would cover the quiet gasp he made when he gripped his cock.

Matching Draco’s rhythm Harry slowly stroked along his own cock, collecting the dampness at the tip and spreading it over the shaft. Taking his eyes off Draco’s cock Harry looked up at Draco’s face, his head was thrown back, eyes closed and mouth open letting out small pants and the occasional moan. Harry found himself looking at the long column of Draco’s neck thinking how much nicer it would look decorated by bite marks from Harry’s teeth.

Trailing his eyes back down he noticed Malfoy’s white skin was flushed red now, either from the heat of the water raining down on him or arousal, Harry didn’t know which just that the blush on Draco’s cheeks made him look even better than usual.

Harry almost cried out in despair when Malfoy releases his cock, leaving him painfully hard and needing to come, _fucking bastard tease_. He stopped swearing at Malfoy in his head when he saw Malfoy grab a bottle off the small shelf in the shower, pouring a clear thick liquid onto his hand. Harry was positive he knew what it was and sent up a silent prayer that he didn’t die in the forest and was therefore alive to witness what was likely to be the best moment of his life.

Draco returned the bottle to the shelf before spreading some of the lube onto the fingers of his other hand and Harry whimpered, eyes widening at the sight.

While one of Draco’s hands moved back to his cock, making him give out a loud groan, his other hand moved behind him and Harry was two seconds away from coming as he watched Draco slip one finger between his arse cheeks. Harry wanted to move closer, wanted to pull the round cheeks open so he could watch those long skilled fingers as they sunk into Draco’s hole. As they stretched him, the rim red and puffy from the friction of fingers thrusting and scissoring him open ready for something bigger. Harry wanted to use his own fingers to stretch Draco, feel him open under his hands.

He wanted to listen to Draco beg and moan as he pushed backwards impaling himself and tried to get Harry’s fingers to hit the tight little bundle of nerves that would cause him to fall apart, screaming in pleasure. Harry wanted to tease Draco until he was right on the edge, until he was unable to say anything other than please before pulling his fingers free and burying his cock to the base.

Instead Harry contended himself with watching as Malfoy speared himself on two fingers, the slick sound of the lube as he thrust them in, mixing with the sound of his hand sliding along his cock, the beautiful orchestra of his gasped breaths and moans echoing in the small room which Harry added his own quiet ones to as his hand quickly stroked his own cock.

He was so close but he wanted to see Draco come first, wanted to see his face as desire overrode his usual calm demeanour, as he lost himself in pleasure.

Finally Draco cried out loudly his body stiffening as his come hit the shower wall and Harry came into his hand biting back a moan and looking at the rapture on Draco’s face.

Draco dropped his head down, sucking in a lungful of air as he recovered from his orgasm, his hands coming up so they were braced on the tiled wall in front of him. While Harry panted with the warm come in his hand rapidly cooling, _fuck_ , he thought.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-stag

As Harry’s mind cleared from a fog of lust, cold realization sunk in along with panic at what just happened. Too frazzled to even consider a cleaning charm he wiped his come covered hand on his Auror robes before stumbling backwards as he hastily tried to do up his trousers.

His back thumped against the door frame and time seemed to slow down as Draco lifted his head turning to face Harry. His large eyes wide, the pupils still blown leaving only a thin band of silver visible as they appeared to lock with Harry’s own.

Harry didn’t dare to breathe let along move caught like a deer in headlights by Draco, who was beginning to frown as he kept looking for what caused the noise. Eventually just as Harry thought he was about to pass out from holding his breath Draco turned away, washing his hands off before reaching for a bottle of shampoo to wash his hair.

Harry very slowly and carefully left the bathroom, heading to the corner of the room furthest from Draco and sat down on the floor. Dropping his head onto his knees Harry started breathing again, his heart still beating against his chest like it was trying to escape and Harry wished he could escape too.

What on earth was he doing? You can’t go around watching people in the shower, you can’t wank over people wanking in the shower and you most definitely can’t do those things when the other person didn’t know you were there and hates your fucking guts. This was such a fucked up mess and it seemed to Harry that it was only getting worse, every time he followed Malfoy, every time he crossed another line he just ended up digging himself deeper. He knew that that was all his fault, if he thought Draco would be angry about Harry seeing him cry, he was going to kill him for what he’d just seen. Why did he follow Malfoy? If he had just ignored the insistent pull to follow him in the first place he wouldn’t at this moment be sat in a corner with guilt ripping his chest open and making him want to vomit.

The guilt had been there from the beginning telling him to stop, to think about what he was doing and Harry hadn’t listened. Pushing it to the side with shitty excuses and flimsy reasons, convicting himself that as long as Draco didn’t know it was fine, that he wasn’t hurting anyone.

 _Bullocks_ , it was all a load of bullocks, how could he still claim to be a hero, the good guy when he was breaking into Draco’s home, watching him at his most vulnerable and getting off on it while Draco was completely in the dark. What type of person did something like that; even Voldemort had never sunk that low. What had happened to Harry’s morals, his Gryffindor chivalry? In a second Harry had gone from feeling on top of the world to feeling like a worthless piece of shit.

 _This has to stop_ , he’d said the same thing to himself a thousand times before but this time he had to do it.

He was half tempted to ask Ron to obliterate him, to make it all go away along with the sick feeling in his gut. He couldn’t do it, would never do it. If these stolen moments were all he would ever have he wanted to keep hold of them. He’d pull them out whenever temptation rose, using them to sooth his addiction and remind himself why he had to stop. He’d allow himself only the enjoyment of these memories, of what he had already been lucky enough to see.

Hell, he was pretty sure he’d be using the expression on Draco’s face as he came whenever he cast a patronus for the rest of his life. It would likely create a stag large and bright enough that Harry could take on a million dementors and Voldemort again all at the same time.

Harry looked up as Draco walked naked from the shower into his bedroom emerging a few minutes later dressed in a black hoodie, loose grey shorts and multi-coloured striped knee high socks. A smile tugged at the corner of Harry’s mouth, he was really going to miss seeing all the silly things Malfoy did and said when no-one was around. Standing Harry continued watching Malfoy as he headed to the kitchen and began making his dinner. He couldn’t leave until Malfoy went to bed so he might as well enjoy his last night with Draco before it all ended.

He watched Draco make handmade pizza, dipping his finger in the tomato sauce for the base and sucking it off carelessly. Placing the toppings on and sneaking the leftover pieces of ham into his mouth before putting it in the oven. He watched Draco as he danced around the small flat to the radio as he waited for it to cook.

He watched and smiled and wished things were different, that he’d known about this side of Malfoy years ago. Harry allowed himself to imagine what it would have been like if things were different, if they were friends. He thought of laughing with Draco as he danced around the room and how he would protest when Draco tried to make him join in.

He imagined them both stealing the toppings and flicking flour at each other while trading good natured banter. That would be the one thing that never changed; they would always bicker only the words would be softer, less hurtful, teasing rather than mocking. Harry shook his head, no point thinking of things like that when it would only ever be a fantasy.

After tonight things would go back to normal, sneering at each other in the corridors and memo’s filled with spiteful words the only thing exchanged between them. Harry would pretend he didn’t know about Draco’s sweet tooth, that he loved muggle clothes and that he cared far more than most people knew he did. He would forget the way Malfoy tried to charm the cafeteria workers and the long nights filled with hard work that Draco put in at the Ministry labs. He would never find out how Malfoy was connected to the new wolf bane recipe or if he got to spend the rest of his life happy like he wanted to.

Harry still had a hundred questions about Draco he wanted answers for, a thousand things he wanted to see and a million conversations he wanted them to have but his curiosity would have to remain unsatisfied.

For the last time Harry watched Draco as he ate and watched TV, lounging across the sofa on his back with his hood up and his sleeve pulled down to cover his hands while he scoffed and laughed at the people on the screen. Eventually Draco turned in for the night, leaving Harry stood there looking at the closed door to his bedroom for several minutes before he whispered goodbye and disapparated home.

For the next few days Harry did everything he could to keep busy, even digging up a few cold case files when he ran out of his normal work. He made sure that he only chose the ones that didn’t have anything to do with potions because that would just make him think of Draco. The whole point of all this was to stop him thinking about the blonde.

He stopped taking his breaks when Malfoy did, instead sitting at his desk and waiting for the minutes to pass while he held himself back from seeking Draco out. He made sure that he left on time so he wouldn’t meet Draco in the lift, taking the floo home because on Tuesday when he’d tried to disapparate he’d found himself stood outside Malfoy’s flat, he’d almost ended up splinching himself in his haste to get away.

Harry rubbed his eyes wearily, he didn’t think he’d slept at all over the last couple of days as he’d tossed and turned every night, his mind torturing him with images of Draco and the guilt that hit him again when he woke up. Harry wondered how much longer he could keep going like this.

Why was it so hard to go back to how things had been, for 5 years Malfoy hadn’t crossed his mind. They had worked on a case together and exchanging memos every few days and the only thing Harry had thought about was what insult he would use next.

Now he couldn’t go a second without thinking of him, an hour without seeing him or a day without hearing his voice. It was like Harry had been infected; like he was sick and he wondered how long it would take until he got better.


	16. Chapter 16

Harry smiled as he rolled over in bed and towards the warm body led next to him, messy tuffs of blonde hair sticking out from under the blanket. He chuckled as he considered cuddling up to his lover and falling back to sleep but his rapidly filling cock had a much better idea. Reaching over he pulled the blanket back exposing Draco’s face to the morning light making him frown as he screwed his eyes tightly closed and groaned in annoyance at Harry. He would be groaning even more soon and it wouldn’t be in annoyance, although it might be in frustration since Harry was in the mood to tease his bed mate.

Leaning forward he captured Draco’s lips; the softness of them a contradiction to the rough way he kissed Harry back. His mouth greedy as he ran his tongue over Harry’s bottom lip seeking entrance, which Harry happily allowed. Their combined breath and the sweet taste of chocolate that always lingered in Draco mouth making Harry moan.

 _So sweet_ , Harry thought, just like the man himself once you got past his sharp teeth, speaking of teeth Harry let his own scrape over Dracos tongue, sucking on it for a moment. Then it was Harry’s turn to press his tongue into Draco’s mouth, his taste an addiction Harry would never get enough of. He moved closer, his hands reaching and grasping for smooth skin and Draco’s silky hair tangled around his fingers. Using the hand on Draco’s hip Harry pulled him so that their naked bodies touched from top to bottom, before he slipped it around and lower to cup Draco’s arse giving it a squeeze.

His other hand he carded through Draco’s hair once until he curled it into a fist, holding tightly as he angled his head so he could deepen the kiss. Draco hooked his leg around Harry’s trying to draw them even closer together, wanting as much skin contact as possible. Both their cocks hard and rubbing against the other as their hips moved, the friction causing gasps and moans to escape during breaks in their kiss to fill the room but Harry wanted more.

Surrendering his claim on Draco’s lips Harry Pushed him onto his back, moving so he could lie on top of him, settling between the slightly smaller mans legs. He let out a groan as they wrapped around him keeping him close, not that Harry had much interest in moving, not yet.

Right now what he wanted to do was kiss Draco more, biting on his lip so it darkened turning from pale pink to red. Harry moved from Draco’s mouth to trail kisses along his jaw, lick his ear lobe before biting on the sensitive bit of flesh. Going lower to Draco’s neck, he sucked the skin into his mouth while Draco threw his head back and pushed his hips upwards.

Releasing the skin Harry admired the red mark he’d left behind, _mine,_ his mind growled as he licking it before pulling back and unhooking Draco’s legs so he could shift onto his knees.

Draco’s eyes opened dark with desire and a silent plea, which went with the small whimper he made. It would take more than that to make Harry stop teasing, he thought as he kissed Draco’s chest, taking a nipple into his mouth to nibble on while his hand pinched and rolled the other pink nub. Draco was moaning louder now as his hand reached for his own cock, only to be grabbed by Harry’s and placed above his head.

“Harry,” Draco groaned in frustration making Harry lift his head to smile at him.

“Yes?” Harry asked and smiled wider when Draco frowned at him, before his face melted into a pout. It was cute but if Draco thought that would get him what he wanted he was going to be disappointed.

“Please,” Draco begged as he arched his back trying to reach something to rub his aching cock on. Seeing Draco behaving so lewd and the pretty sound of him pleading made Harry’s cock twitch and for just a second he thought about giving up on teasing the delicious man beneath him. However he couldn't let Draco win quite that easily.

“Please what?” Harry replied because he wanted to hear Draco say it again, wanted to hear him ask for Harry, for his cock, for the pleasure only he could give him.

“Touch me, please Harry, want you to fuck me.”

As soon as Draco had finished speaking Harry kissed him almost violently, teeth biting and tongue thrust deep, he’d never had much patience. Pulling back Harry conjured some lube in his hand sitting up on his knees so he could watch his fingers move toward Draco’s puckered hole.

Draco reached down grabbing the back of his legs and lifted them toward his chest, giving Harry more room and a better view.

Merlin, just looking at the tiny pink ring had Harry’s cock leaking, his pre-cum dripping onto the sheet. Unable to resist Harry started teased the rim, rubbing the tip of one finger gently around it, licking his lips as he watched it flutter and considered moving further back so he could use his tongue to open Draco up.

“Harry…fuck, please stop teasing.”

Draco’s words ended with a sharp cry as Harry suddenly pushed a finger in up to the second knuckle. Twisting his finger Harry pushed harder until his entire finger was inside Draco’s warm channel, he drew it out slowly only to push it back in fast.

He loved the way Draco’s mouth opened in a silent moan, his eyes left half open so he could keep them locked with Harry’s. A few more thrusts and Harry added a second finger, twisting them to stretch Draco’s hole, the rim puffy and shiny with lube.

 _So warm_ , Harry thought as he rotated his wrist and insured he brushed Draco’s prostrate, making the blonde beneath him gasp each time. Only when Draco was begging, chanting please like it was a magic spell that could bring him pleasure did Harry remove his fingers and line up his cock.

One small whimper of desperation and his name falling from Draco’s lips was all ot took for Harry to press forward. He let out a hiss of ecstasy as he was encased inside Draco’s wet passage, the muscles gripping and relaxing around him as Draco adjusted to the invasion. Only when he was completely sheathed did he pause, closing his eyes to savour the feeling and give Draco a moment.

The feeling of legs wrapping around his hips again told him it was okay to move, opening his eyes he fixed them on Draco’s as be began to rock, shallow thrusts at first becoming deeper, longer, harder as Draco loosened more.

 _Fucking hell,_ Harry’s mind cursed, nothing on earth could feel as good as being inside Draco, touching him, tasting him and listening to the noises he was unable to contain. Draco’s fingers dug into his shoulders as he held on, the heels of his feet on Harry’s back used to lift his hips to meet Harry’s thrusts.

Draco urged him to go faster with words hissed, gasped and moaned into his ear between panting breaths. Harry was close and could tell Draco was too, balancing his weight on one arm Harry slipped a hand between them to wrap it around Draco’s leaking cock. Stroking it in time to his thrusts, Draco was almost screaming now and Harry wouldn’t look away from his face, wouldn’t let his eyes fall closed and risk missing the moment he fell apart with his orgasm because it was so beautiful to watch.

“Come for me Draco,” Harry panted out and was rewarded with the feeling of warm come coating his stomach and chest, the clenching of Draco’s hole as it tightened around his cock stalling his thrusts for a second.

“I love you,” Harry whispered as he pushed forward one last time and came.

Harry sat bolt upright in bed, his pyjama bottoms sticky with his release and alone. _I love Draco_ , was Harry’s last coherent thought before his mind descended into chaos.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-snow

Jumping out of bed Harry began to pace only to stop after a few steps, his face twisting into a grimace as the damp fabric of his pyjamas rubbed against his now soft cock.

Perhaps he should take a shower and get cleaned up, but showers made him think of Draco, which made him think of his dream and sent his mind spinning all over again. Settling for a cleaning charm instead Harry resumed pacing his bare feet becoming chilled as they slapped on the cold wooden floorboards.

He should put some socks on, the random thought nothing more than an excuse to delay thinking about the realization of his feelings for Draco.

Sitting on his bed Harry takes the time to put his glasses on before busying himself pulling on a thick pair of boring black socks and finds himself remembering Draco’s colourful striped ones. Standing quickly Harry was about to start pacing once again but instead he froze.

He had always been a person of action, had never been good at taking things slow instead jumping in feet first. If he tried that he’d likely end up rushing to Malfoy’s flat still in his pyjamas and confessing. That was a very bad idea, at best Draco would hex him, at worse he’d laugh at Harry before slamming the door in his face. This situation called for Harry to really think which meant stillness.

Grabbing the blanket from the end of the bed Harry moved over to the window seat and sat down with his knees pulled up. As he turned to face the window Harry used the edge of the blanket to wipe away the condensation from the glass, staring at the snowflakes that drifted gently past outside.

Letting the snow calm his mind, Harry took a deep breath feeling his chest expand before releasing it, he did this a few more times until his heart slowed and his body relaxed. Deciding he was now ready to confront the newest problem in his life Harry let himself think of Draco.

Okay, he was in love with Draco, just thinking it made his pulse quicken and he had to make the effort to stop himself panicking again. Curling his hands into fists, he pushed aside his nerves, now was not the time to freak out, he wouldn’t solve anything by doing that.

He was in love with Draco, this time was easier and Harry wondered if he thought it enough then it would stop his head from exploding as it struggled to cope with this strange confession. _Worth a try_ , Harry decided repeating it over and over again in his head, even whispering it aloud to the empty room, the words hanging heavily in the air.

When the world failed to end Harry found himself beginning to consider the idea more in depth. Now his mind was clear Harry could understand how it kind of made sense since it explained his obsession and why he had been struggling so much to stay away from Draco.

No, his brain screamed back, it most definitely did not make sense, even suggesting that he had those sorts of feelings for Malfoy felt like blasphemy.

Harry sighed letting his head rest against the damp glass of the window. _Fuck_ , why could his life never be simple? After all the drama he’d already had to live through, he’d gone and fallen in love with his school rival. Harry snorted, his breath misting the window, he hadn’t fallen, Draco had bloody tripped him, tricked him with his Slytherin cunning.

Malfoy wasn’t supposed to be funny and kind and sweet and fucking cute. Malfoy was sharp edges and a sharper tongue and icy glares and his lip curled into a sneer. The problem Harry was having was that it turned out Draco was both and Harry loved him because of all those things.

He admired Malfoy’s strength at refusing to hide away after the war, choosing instead to set out on his own. He hadn’t let anyone, not even his parents stop him. He liked that Draco never censored what he thought of someone, regardless of who they were, telling the people he didn’t like exactly what he thought of them and those he cared for how much he appreciated them.

Harry liked that Draco was smart, the passion he had for his job even when he left late and exhausted. He liked the way Draco would cut someone down with a look when they crossed him and how his eyes shone with joy when he was eating sweets. He liked his sarcastic witty comments and the way he was overly dramatic sometimes. Harry just really fucking liked Draco and after seeing all the different sides of him was it really so surprising that he’d fallen in love.

Draco was a challenge and Harry knew that a relationship between them would be filled with excitement and keep Harry constantly on his toes. It also didn’t hurt that he was gorgeous with his porcelain skin and silky hair, his sharp eyes that could hold so many different emotions. He was sexy buttoned up in fitted robes and adorably cute curled up in his baggy muggle clothes relaxing on his sofa.

Damn Harry really had it bad, how the hell had he not worked it out sooner. Harry was aware he had a bad habit of ignoring his own emotions but he honestly thought he would have noticed that he was in love with Malfoy considering how much he’d been thinking about him. Perhaps it was just the fact that his brain had refused to even contemplate being romantically involved with Draco so it had turned it into wanting a friendship instead. Harry could have sat here for hours trying to puzzle everything out but he had work today which he was going to be late for if he didn’t hurry up and get ready.

As Harry rose from his seat his brain reminded him that he worked with Draco, meaning there was a chance they would run into each other. More than a chance since Harry knew Draco’s schedule by heart and right now he really wanted to see the blonde man he was head over heels for.

 _What could go wrong_ , he thought as he rushed to get ready his heart racing with excitement.

“Morning Malfoy,” Harry said as they rode the lift down to the cafeteria, Malfoy on his way to get his pre-lunch sugar fix and Harry the coffee needed to keep him awake at his desk. Draco turned his head and fixed him with a frown, his steely grey eyes were cold as they bore into Harry’s.

“Piss off Potter,” Draco snarled back. Harry bit back the insult that flew to the tip of his tongue; it wasn’t like he had expected Draco to suddenly be his friend after a simple hello.

“Wow, careful or you’ll end up on Santa’s naughty list,” Harry said making sure to keep his tone light, teasing. Draco obviously thought Harry was mocking him because his frown deepened and his lips drew back exposing his teeth as he snarled at Harry.

“If you keep speaking to me it will be assured because I’m going to hex your damn mouth shut,” Draco snapped before turning away and Harry knew that anything he said now would just result in them getting into a fight, something Harry didn’t want.

As soon as the doors opened Draco was off, striding quickly away from Harry who blew out a breath. He needed a different approach, a way to soften the blonde up before he tried talking to him again.

Unfortunately every idea he came up with was pathetic and he quickly abandon even trying when he saw Draco sat with Emma, his hands flying in agitation. Harry didn’t think any plan would work, considering Malfoy’s current mood he’d end up having a hex thrown at him, maybe, anyway. Harry wasn’t sure Draco would hex him in the middle of the cafeteria but he wasn’t willing to take the risk.

Grabbing his coffee Harry headed back to his office feeling dejected, it was his own fault really, he had been so caught up in his own feelings that he’d completely forgotten that Malfoy hated him. This whole thing was impossible; he hadn’t even thought that there was a chance of them being friends, let alone more than that.

Broken hearted Harry came up with an idea, a really stupid idea since he’d sworn that he wouldn’t do it again. However driven by need and uncaring of the guilt he would feel later Harry waited until the end of his shift and then pulled out his invisibility cloak. Wrapping it tightly around himself he apparated directly into Draco’s flat and waited for him to come home.

 _Just one last look_ , Harry promised as he heard the rattle of keys and watched the handle turn.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-christmas lights

Harry stepped back moving into the corner he considered his as Malfoy came through the door, locking it behind him before taking off his coat and hanging it up.

Harry was surprised he bothered to lock the door; if he was worried about security then wouldn’t he put up wards. It wasn’t like a muggle lock would stop a wizard or witch from breaking in; Harry’s continual ability to get inside was proof of that. Maybe he felt it was unnecessary but why? Did anyone but his mother know where he lived? Harry hadn’t realized before that no-one but her had been to Malfoy’s flat, he hadn’t even seen Parkinson here which was strange considering how close they are.

Harry decided to forget about it for now; he wasn’t here to think of things like that. He was here to see Malfoy, who was exiting his bedroom after changing out of his work clothes, into his usual comfy muggle ones. Harry only felt disappointed for a moment when it became clear Draco wasn’t planning on having a shower tonight or that’s what he told himself as his eyes roamed over Draco’s body.

Honestly, he was happy just to see Malfoy smile after the rejection he’d suffered earlier, just being near him like a blessing. Still Harry couldn’t pretend that as painful as Draco’s attitude had been, that stalking him again was the right thing to do. He’d be much better off trying to talk to him again even if it didn’t go well last time. It was the logical thing to do and he’d been told more than once he was pretty likable.

Surely he would be able to eventually win over Draco; it was just going to take some work and time. Thankfully Harry had never backed down from a challenge before and wasn’t going to start now, no-one was more stubborn than him, not even Malfoy.

As Harry had been thinking that Malfoy had dropped onto the sofa with a notebook and biro and was busy scribbling away with his brow furrowed. Curious about what Malfoy was doing Harry cautiously moved closer creeping up until he was stood behind the blonde.

Draco seemed tense to Harry, his shoulders were hunched and he was muttering what Harry recognised as potion ingredients under his breath. Craning his neck Harry Looked over Draco’s shoulder and read the top line ‘Improved Dreamless Sleep’.

Malfoy was working on making a new potion, well that explained why he looked stressed. From talking to Hermione Harry knew what a big deal it was for a new potion to be made.

Wait, did this mean he was the one who made the new wolfs bane? It certainly seemed more likely now. Harry had originally thought that it had been Snape’s recipe that Draco had just passed along, but after seeing just how skilled and hard working Draco was when he’d watching him in the labs, he had no trouble believing he was more than capable of making a new potion himself. Wishing to see Malfoy’s face as he worked Harry moved back around the sofa, grinning at Draco as he began talking to himself.

“Maybe…no that won’t work,” Draco murmured as he crossed out something.

“There must be a way to get rid of the side effects, what am I missing?”

Draco stuck the end of the pen in his mouth, sucking on it for a moment then tapping it against his teeth. His breath hitched and he was suddenly scribbling something on the note book only to cross it out again a minute later with a sigh.

Harry had no idea how to help, potions would always be a complete mystery to him, maybe Hermione could lend a hand, she was good at that stuff.

“I could…no that will react with the…so then…” Draco continued to mutter to himself as he wrote only to put a line through each new idea, with a curse he threw the book down on the table in front of him and tucked the pen behind his ear.

“Fuck, I really wish you were here Sev I need your help," He said as he dropped his head back onto the sofa, staring at the ceiling. “I can’t do it on my own.”

Draco let out a humourless chuckle as he sat up and Harry couldn’t help but be surprised by what he did next.

“Think you stupid boy, use that brain you claim to possess,” Draco said in a perfect imitation of their old potions professor. It was eerie how much he sounded like Snape, even the expression on Draco’s face reminded Harry of the way Snape had looked whenever he insulted him. Draco leaned back on the sofa again, shutting his eyes and Harry watched the lids flutter as his eyes moved back and forth beneath them. He stayed like that for so long Harry wondered if Malfoy had fallen asleep and was dreaming, when his eyes sprung open.

“Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong, rather than improving it I need to remake it.” Draco’s voice rose slightly in excitement before he picked up the note book again, snatching the pen from his ear with a look of determination.

Almost an hour later he finally stopped writing, “Well, it’s a start.”

A pleased smile spread across his face and Harry wanted to praise him for working it out or at least give him a pat on the back. Unfortunately he couldn’t do either of those things because he wasn’t supposed to be here and the longer he stayed the guiltier he became. He had promised to stop, this wasn’t going to help him get close to Draco, not the way he wanted to.

Draco threw the note book and pen down on the table, the biro skittering along until it fell off the edge and continued rolling; finally it stopped beneath Draco’s tree. Draco sighed and waved his hand casting a wandless accio. As the pen flew to his hand there was a loud pop and the muggle lights on the Christmas tree went out.

“Damn it, not again.” Draco cursed, dropping the pen on the table as he rose up and walked towards the tree.

He stood before it with his hands on his hips for a minute before kneeing down to crawl under the tree, his arm stretched out as he tried to turn off and remove the plug. Harry took the opportunity to admire the lovely view of Draco’s arse stuck in the air, swaying every now and then as he shifted further forward under the tree.

Finally he must have reached it and he started shuffling back, only a string of lights was caught behind his head. Harry’s eyes widened as he saw the tree begin to wobble on its stand, he knew exactly what was going to happen and he even stepped forward, his hands out as if to prevent it.

Too late, the tree was already falling directly onto Draco, who let out a sharp cry. Harry froze, his chest still as he held his breath, worried that Draco was hurt.

He released it at the sound of a muttered curse and the tree rolling over as Draco pushed it away and off of him. More curses filled the air as Draco tried to stand only to be stopped by the lights that had somehow wrapped around his foot. It was however the bits of tinsel and glitter that decorated his hair that caused Harry to laugh, _oh shit,_ Harry thought as the loud sound caused Draco’s eyes to swivel in his direction.

Harry quickly stepped back; panicking as he hit the wall behind him, there was no escape from Draco who having tugged his foot loose was striding towards him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-I can explain

Harry had just enough time to reflect on the collection of fuck ups that had led to him being here at this moment before Draco’s hand reached out gripping the cloak and pulling it away.

His eyes widened, his mouth fell open, pale pink lips forming a perfect circle in surprise. Harry only had time to sound out the beginning of Draco’s name before Draco’s teeth gashed and his eyes narrowed, full of hate and anger and as poisonous as mercury.

“WHAT THE FUCKING HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE? What the fuck Potter? Were you spying on me?” Draco screamed at him and Harry was too shocked to even attempt to deny it.

Instead he stayed silent as realization dawned on Malfoy, his red face growing pale again. Harry could almost see the wheels turning as Malfoy’s eyes dropped to the floor, the one Harry wished would swallow him.

“It was you?” Draco whispered before his face and voice turned cold and cruel, eyes rising. Oh, if looks could kill Harry would already be a corpse.

“Get a good eyeful did you? Enjoy watching me in the bloody shower or was it a shock? Either way it didn’t put you off coming back again. Was that the first time you came here or were you following me before that?” again he paused, raking a hand through his hair, brushing out some of the glitter that remained.

Harry considered trying to speak but he had no idea what the hell he could say, _try sorry_ , his mind suggested. However before Harry had a chance to open his mouth Draco was talking again.

“The marshmallows, I thought it was strange that you used my exact words,” he said looking down at the cloak clutched in his hand, growling he shoved in against Harry’s chest.

Automatically Harry held on to it, holding it close like a security blanket, as if it could protect him from Draco’s anger.

“You followed me that day in the lift, didn’t you? Were you just carrying this around in your pocket, waiting for a chance to stalk me?”

Harry wanted to protest but it was true, that was precisely what he had done and it sounded so much worse coming from Draco’s mouth. The moment he had even considered using his cloak, should have been a red flag that Harry had lost his fucking mind, that there was something seriously wrong with him. He would have told Draco this but he was currently attempting to push himself through the wall as the very pissed off man leaned forward getting right into his face.

“Why?” Draco said and paused, pressing his lips together into a harsh line. Harry knew that this was his chance, to explain, to beg for forgiveness and even terrified as he was Harry wanted to praise Draco for how quickly he’d pieced everything together; he’d make a really good Auror.

“Draco, I’m sor…” was as far as he got before a wand was suddenly pointed at his face making his jaw snap shut. The tip was steady as it hovered mere centimetres from his nose and Harry’s eyes crossed as he tried to look at it.

“Don’t you fucking dare call me by name like we’re friends and you’re not the fucking perving bastard I just caught hiding in my fucking home. Is that why you did it? You wanted to see how far I’d fallen. Wanted to laugh at me living in a tiny muggle flat, scraping by on a shitty Ministry wage.”

Harry shook his head so rapidly that he felt dizzy for a moment, stopping he was met with a raised eyebrow as Draco studied him.

“No then what? Wanted to make sure I was suffering after the charges were drop, than I didn’t get off too lightly for my past mistakes? Or did you think I was repeating them? That you would catch me doing dark magic so you could finally see me locked in Azkaban where everyone thinks I belong?” Harry couldn’t listen to this anymore and screwed his eyes shut in preparation for the hex he was likely to get hit with for opened his mouth and daring to speak.

“No Malfoy, none of those things, I swear. Please just let me explain.” Harry didn’t care that he was begging, he’d get on his knees and plead if it would make Draco listen to him, only the fact Draco was stood too close prevented him from doing it anyway.

“NO!”

Harry opened his eyes locking them with Draco’s and the air left his lungs when he saw the tears gathering in them, only held back by Malfoy’s pride.

“Get out Potter and if you dare come near me again I will demonstrate every piece of dark magic I know on you.”

Draco said all of that without a single bit of emotion, his voice flat, dull, quiet and terrifying. With one last look of regret at Draco Harry spun disapparating, not caring where he landed as long as it was away.

Harry collapsed onto the floor of his bedroom, as his leg gave out under him, the pain making him hiss. Looking down he saw the blood seeping through his trousers onto the floor. Gritting his teeth he reached down yanking at the fabric and pulling it away to expose the large gash. He’d splinched himself because he hadn’t been concentrating. Even now, despite the pain all he could think was that he hoped he hadn’t left any blood behind that Draco would have to clean up.

Drawing his wand, he cast a healing charm that would stop the blood at least. The charm wouldn’t hold if he tried to walk so Harry reached into his Auror satchel glad he was in his uniform as he pulled out two vials.

Looking down at the pain potion and essence of dittany, a fresh wave of guilt rolled over him, proving that even at his lowest it is still possible to feel worse. Ignoring the pain potion he poured the dittany directly onto the cut, clenching his jaw to stop himself screaming as the potion burned his skin as it healed.

Once the skin was smooth again Harry cast a cleaning charm and fell back lying on the floor and staring at the cracks on the ceiling.

He wanted to shout, curse, cry, anything and everything that would remove the weight on his chest that made each breath he took feel like a thousand daggers piecing his heart. He would never be able to fix this, would never be able to think about Draco without seeing the look on his face when he’d demanded that Harry leave. He would never be free of the shame, the guilt that had been his constant companion since he had walked down that snow covered street eighteen days ago following Malfoy.

Had it really been such a short time, it felt like he had been chasing after Draco his whole life. That he had been keeping an eye on him for years, lifetimes spent learning every quirk, every nuance of his expression and every tone of his voice.

Harry laughed as his tears broke free not because he was happy or he thought the situation was funny but because he needed some form of release otherwise he would explode.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-underwear

Harry groaned as he woke up, his emotional pains joining by a multitude of physical one’s caused by sleeping on the floor.

Well, the few hours he’d spent sleeping after passing out in the early hours of the morning, he hadn’t been able to bring himself to move after getting back from Malfoy’s. Rather he had led here and allowed his mind to tear him to shreds, _you’re an idiot, never going to forgive you for this, did you really think this would end well, so much for promises, he hates you even more now,_ his own thoughts attacking him and he deserved them all.

Eventually he pulled himself up, standing on unsteady legs and walked to his bathroom, stripping his dirty robes off as he went and letting them fall to the ground.

Under the hot spray of water Harry shut his eyes and let his head hang down, forehead pressed to the cool tiles. The pounding water helped ease his sore muscles, a hot meal would stop the hunger cramps in his stomach but there was nothing that could fix what a complete wanker he had been. Merlin what he wouldn’t give to have a time turner to be able to go back and stop himself from ruining everything, it would have been better if he had never noticed Malfoy, had never picked his name for secret Santa.

Harry lifted his head and cursed out loud, he’d forgotten why this had all started, he was suppose to get Draco a gift. He’d planned what he was going to give him ages ago but with everything else he’d forgotten and now he wasn’t sure Draco would accept anything from him even an apology.

Still he had to try, had to say he was sorry, even if Draco still hated him, would never forgive him, Harry needed him to know that it had never been about mocking him or because he though Draco was a dark wizard.

Washing quickly, he left the shower, drying himself with a charm and got dressed. He was starving but the idea of food churned his already nervous stomach. His hands shook as they grabbed a handful of floo powder throwing it into the fireplace.

He arrived early for work meaning he had to wait in the Atrium for Malfoy. Using the time he had to gather his courage because he was going to need every single ounce of it to confront the man he’d hurt.

When Malfoy finally walked through the door Harry took a deep breath and stepped forward into his path, hands up in surrender, hoping it would delay Draco from hexing him.

Malfoy’s steps flattered as Harry appeared before him, he looked tired, even more tired than Harry. His eyes were red like he’d been crying; coat left open and his muggle shirt underneath was creased. Harry’s words got struck in his throat as he took all this in and realized he was at fault for Draco’s rumpled appearance. Malfoy was getting over his shock as Harry stood looking at him and as he reached for his wand Harry forced himself to speak.

“Please Malfoy I’m sorry. Can I please just explain, and then I promise I’ll never come near you again but I don’t want you thinking that any of your reasons about why I did it were true.”

The words came out rushed and he wasn’t sure if Draco would understand what he had said or if he did, that he cared.

“I told you to stay the fuck away from me,” Draco snarled, wand now in hand and pointed at Harry, his face twisted in anger and Harry still thought it was beautiful.

His eyes closed as the bolt of light came towards him, body tensed in preparation for the pain he was going to experience. Harry’s eyes opened as instead of pain he was met by a cold breeze over his skin, a lot of skin as he was now stood in nothing but his underwear.

Looking around Harry was glad that only a few people were here this early, still his cheeks burned at their sniggering and the way they openly stared at him. Malfoy had stepped forward so he was stood beside Harry, head held up and forward not even glancing at Harry’s near nakedness.

“How does it feel being the one on display?” Draco asked almost sounding bored but there was a quiver to his voice. Harry watched him swallow before continuing his voice now steady, “Be thankful I showed you mercy and allowed you to keep more dignity that you gave me. Stay away from me Potter; this is your last warning.”

Harry remained where he was as Draco moved past him heading for the lift, leaving Harry with his face red with embarrassment and shame. As the cold air seeped further into his bones and more people came through the floo he realised he needed to put some clothes on and returned home to redress.

Wearing a new set of Auror robes he returned to the ministry, head down amidst the whispers and giggles of those who had heard about what had happened. Reaching his office after pushing past the other Aurors and trying to laugh along with their teasing comments, Harry shut and locked his door before leaning back against it.

Part of him wanted to be mad at Draco for vanishing his clothes when he was in the middle of the Ministry but he deserved it, deserved much more than that and was thankful that he’d still kept his underwear. Knowing that by the end of the day everyone would have heard about what had happened, he decided that staying locked in his office for the rest of the day, maybe even the rest of his life, was the best plan he’d had since this mess started.

The plan was working well until just after lunch when there was a knock at his door, worried who it could be but unable to ignore it just in case it was important Harry opened it with trepidation. It turned out to be one of the mail clerks who handed him some letters and a small gift wrapped parcel. Saying thanks Harry relocked the door and headed to his desk dropping the letters and studying the gift.

Checking the tag he read ‘To Auror Potter Merry Christmas you arsehole from your secret Santa’.

Harry groaned, obliviously Draco had told Emma about what he did and he worried what the normally calm women had sent him. She was friends with Malfoy so he couldn’t rule out that she was capable of something vindictive.

However he didn’t have time to choose whether to open the gift because it had already started smoking in his hands, dropping it on his desk Harry wondered if she had actually sent him a bomb, but wasn’t that a bit extreme.

He threw up a shield charm as the parcel exploded with a small bang, while it meant that he didn’t end up being hit with the scraps of debris it didn’t save him from the smell that now filled the small office. Gagging Harry covered his face with his sleeve but still the smell invaded his nose and mouth making his eyes water. The smell could only be described as what would happen if a dung bomb and rotten eggs were mixed together in liquid form. Judging from the puddle on his desk and the splatter marks from the explosion it was a perfectly valid guess of what Emma had done, _damn that woman was dangerous,_ Harry thought.

He thought it again hours later when the smell still lingered after he’d used every cleaning charm he knew and was glad his shift was over so he could go home and hide there. He was reaching for the handle when there was another knock on the door, _sweet Merlin what now?_ Harry thought.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-love

Considering what happened last time Harry was in no hurry to open the door this time just in case it was another exploding stink bomb.

“Harry open this door right this second.” The muffled voice of Hermione called through the door.

Harry wanted to bang his head against the wall because of course she would have heard about what had happened and would now want an explanation and he wasn’t sure he was prepared to hear what she would say about everything. Knowing that she wouldn’t give up Harry resigned himself to getting shouted at and opened the door.

“What happened, everyone’s saying Malfoy hexed you in the Atrium, that you were naked?”

Hermione bombarded him with the question as soon as the door opened pushing past him into the office before turning to fix him with a hard stare.

“No I wasn’t naked, not completely anyway, can we talk about this somewhere else I’ve got a lot to tell you and it’s going to take a while,” Harry said rubbing at his head, which was pounding already and would only get worse soon. Hermione agreed and they flooed to Harry’s house.

Harry even managed to delay having to explain for a few more minutes as they fire called Ron and had him come over as well, if Harry had to talk about his massive fuck up he only wanted to have to do it once.

Harry spent the next hour telling his friends what he’d done, all of it except of course seeing Draco in the shower because he was never going to tell anyone about that.

“So yeah, I’m in love with Draco Malfoy and I’ve messed up my entire life by being a complete idiot,” Harry finished looking up at the faces of his friends, both of who were wearing matching expressions of disappointment and shock.

“I need to fix this, please Mione tell me how to fix this," Harry begged turning to Hermione, the person who always had the answer, who could solve any problem. His heart dropped as he saw the regret on her face; even before she spoke he knew that this time she couldn’t help him.

“I’m sorry Harry but I don’t think this can be fixed, not by anyone,” She said sadly.

“Yeah I mean what you did was bad, like really really bad. You didn’t tell me you’d gone full creepy stalker on Malfoy, just that you were keeping an eye on him ” Ron added with a grimace.

“You knew about this?” Hermione accused giving Ron a sharp look.

“Um well sort of,” Ron muttered, shooting Harry an apologetic glance.

“And you didn’t think to try and stop him?” Hermione shouted getting annoyed at Ron, which seemed unfair to Harry since he was the one at fault.

“No I didn’t because it’s Harry, you know how he is. I’d have more chance of becoming Minister than talking him out of something once he’s gotten it into his head. Plus I didn’t think he’d take it this far,” Ron argued back before pouting at his girlfriend.

“You still should have tried or told me so we could have both spoken to him before it got to this point ” Hermione said while crossing her arms over her chest.

“You do realize I’m sat right here, so perhaps you two could stop arguing over me like I’m your child and I’ve just been caught stealing biscuits. This is serious,” Harry snapped. He already felt shit and hearing his friends bicker was making things worse.

“I know it’s serious. Do you realise he could report you, that you could lose your job over this, could go to prison?” Hermione said making Harry’s heart skip a beat in terror. He’d been aware somewhere in the back of his mind that what he was doing was wrong, that it was illegal but he’d never really thought about it.

“Shit, do you think Draco will report me?” Harry asked starting to panic. Rising from his seat he began pacing in front of the fireplace, his hands tugging at his hair as he began imagining being pulled into Hudson’s office and being told he was fired and then feeling a pair of Auror cuffs around his wrists, standing before the Wizengamot on trial, then a cold cell. He was pulled from these dark thoughts by Hermione speaking.

“I don’t know I’m surprised he didn’t call the Aurors on you when he caught you in his flat or this morning when you approached him,” Hermione said frowning, a small line appearing between her eyebrows caused by her confusion.

“You’re right; Malfoy hated Harry even before this so why didn’t he jump at the chance to finally get one over on him?” Ron agreed just as confused as Hermione.

“I don’t know he’s not as mean as he was in school. He’s not really mean at all unless you piss him off which considering what happened he’d have every right to be,” Harry said as his mind tried to work out an answer.

He knew Draco better now and he should have reported Harry, should have hit him with every painful spell he knew but he told Harry to leave, to leave him alone. The only thing Harry could think of that stopped him from reporting Harry is the fact he saved Draco’s life during the war and this was his way of repaying that debt.

Still that didn’t make sense because Harry had never thought Draco owed him for that. Maybe it was because he didn’t think anyone would believe him. It would have been Malfoy’s word against Harry’s and as much as he hated it he knew that people would believe him because he’s Harry fucking Potter. Letting out a sigh Harry stopped pacing and turned to his friends.

“He’s not going to report me, don’t ask why I know that but what do I do now?” Harry asked because he didn’t trust making a single decision himself at the moment.

“I think you should do what Malfoy asked you to do and stay away from him. I know you care about him Harry, but it would really be better if you forgot about him ” Hermione said rising and pulling Harry into a hug. He relaxed into her tight embrace using her arms to hold him together and wondered how long it would take for him to forget.

“You know she’s right, Hermione is always right. Hey why don’t we just wipe your memory then you’ll forget all this and everything will go back to normal,” Ron said sounding pleased at what he thought was a great plan.

Harry let go of Hermione and considered it for a minute but it wouldn’t change what he’d done. It would only remove his guilt but Draco would still be angry and hurt and that didn’t seem fair. Harry’s guilt was punishment for his actions and was something he would have to live with, something he should live with so he’d never make this mistake again. There was also a small part of Harry that wanted to keep these small parts of Draco; even if it hurt he didn’t want to forget how he felt about the blonde.

“Thanks Ron, but I think I’ll pass. I’ll be alright, I promise,” Harry said forcing a smile onto his face, from the expressions on his friends faces they were still concerned for him but wisely chose not to say anything.

After another hug from Hermione and a slap on the back from Ron the pair left by floo leaving Harry alone with his heart shattered and guilt making his chest heavy. He made himself a quick sandwich but threw it away after a few bites, instead crawling into bed and letting his tears soak into his pillow until he finally fell asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt-Don't worry when I fight with you, worry when I stop because it means there's nothing left for us to fight for.

Harry didn’t what to go into work the next day and even considered staying in bed with the house warded shut so he could wallow in self pity. However he couldn’t do it, he still had a job to do and while hiding from the world was tempting it would only make him feel worse. So he went to work and spent the morning out of his office following a lead on someone selling dark artefacts.

He found keeping himself busy helped until he returned and saw Malfoy heading towards the lift and it all came flooding back. He waited until he was sure Draco was back in the lab before taking the lift to his own floor, walking through the door of his office he went straight to his chair falling into it and dropping his face into his hands. He was still sat like that when Parkinson barged into the room, her wand drawn and her voice filled with venom.

“You, you fucking bastard!” she screamed, her wand flicking towards Harry. Only his Auror training saved him from the likely painful hex she sent at him as he threw up a shield charm and jumped out of his seat.

“Saviour or not, who the hell do you think you are doing that to my best friend,” Parkinson continued to rant, her wand still pointed at Harry and her red lipstick looking like blood around her mouth. Harry slumped back down in his chair too tired to fight or argue and met Parkinson’s eyes.

“Honestly right now I think I’m the biggest dickhead on the planet, so if you’ve come to tell me what a worthless piece of shit I am then I’m afraid I already know that. Feel free to hex me and then leave so I can return to my shitty existence,” Harry finished and dropped his head back into his hands, he didn’t care if she hexed him and at this point he might actually feel a little better if she did.

“What the fuck happened to you Potter? You look like you got run over by the knight bus and then it reversed and did it again,” Parkinson asked without an ounce of sympathy just curiosity.

Harry lifted his head again, wishing it would stop pounding, and wondered how honest he should be with Parkinson. Anything he said to her would get back to Draco, she had called him her best friend and it had only taken just over a day for Draco to tell her what had happened. It was his dishonesty that had got him into this mess so maybe he needed to stop hiding; still he wasn’t sure if it was a good idea.

“Not quite but if you want to put me out of my misery go ahead,” Harry said, not flinching or looking away when she raised her wand again. Instead he sat and waited for the first hex, his wand on the desk before him. He wasn’t sure what was happening when she lowered her wand with a groan of frustration.

“I can’t do it; you just look so pathetic Potter, like a stray dog that’s been kicked around for a week,” Parkinson said in response to Harry’s questioning look.

He almost wanted to laugh at her comment; damn he must look even worse than he thought. When was the last time he’d had a full night’s sleep or a decent meal, the day before he’d last followed Malfoy. So only a few days then, what would he look like after a week, a month, would it be better by then?

“Seriously what happened I want to know who I have to hex for getting to you before I did?” Parkinson asked pulling him from his thoughts.

“That would be me, sorry, turns out I have a lot of self destructive tendencies and the ability to make really bad decisions that lead to me fucking up everything,” Harry said his mouth curling up at the corners into something that was close to a smile. Parkinson stared hard at him, even taking a step further into the room and resting her hands on his desk to lean closer to him.

“Are you drunk?” she asked frowning down at him and Harry chuckled, a drink might help about now, this all started with him drowning his sorrows after pulling Malfoy’s name so maybe that’s how he should end it.

“No, I’m not drunk. Why are you still here Parkinson? Either hex me or leave, I’ve got work to do,” Harry said waving a hand at the paperwork scattered messily on the desk, half of it still stained from the stink bomb.

“I’m not going anywhere Potter, not until I get some answers. Why the hell were you in Draco’s flat hiding under a bloody invisibility cloak?” Harry looked away as the guilt rose again and an image of Draco’s face when he had caught him appeared in his mind. Harry had just wanted to see him smile again; Draco never smiles when he’s around.

“What!” Parkinson shrieked standing up straight and Harry realised he’d spoken out loud, fearful of what was going to happen next Harry slowly turned back to face the woman stood before him.

“What do you mean Potter, answer me now?”

A wand was pointed at his face, how many times had that happened in the last few days Harry thought. Letting out his breath with a sigh, Harry decided he didn’t care anymore if Parkinson told Draco; it wasn’t like he could hate Harry more.

“You want the truth, I picked Draco’s name for secret Santa, so you were right about that by the way,” Harry said watching her face as she realized he’d been there when she had suggested it.

“Anyway I started watching him and things got out of hand because I’m a fucking moron who doesn’t know how to deal with my own emotions and I fucking fell in love with him and now he hates me almost as much as I hate myself right now, so why don’t you run off and tell him that while I debate the pros and cons of shooting myself in the head with a stunner so I can get some sleep,” Harry said speaking in one breath and waiting for Parkinson to start shouting or hexing him or throwing her hands up and rolling her eyes.

The last one was unexpected and confused and worried him, why didn’t Parkinson look angry anymore. Well, she did still look angry but it was more frustrated and annoyed than with murderous intent.

“You fell in love with Draco while you where spying on him and thought the best thing to do was to keep spying on him, you really are a fucking moron Potter ” She said shaking her head and if Harry hadn’t just called himself the same thing he might have gotten offended.

“Yes I’m sure I just said that. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do but I didn’t know what else to do. He hated my guts and now he really hates my guts so not much has changed,” Harry said sulkily and wished he didn’t sound so childish by doing so.

“Draco doesn’t hate you,” Parkinson said perching on Harry’s desk and smoothing down her skirt while Harry shot her a glare.

“I’m positive he does, in case you didn’t hear he hexed me just yesterday and left me standing in the middle of the Ministry wearing just my underwear ” Harry sassed rolling his own eyes at the Slytherin girl.

“I know and if you love him as much as you claim to then you should know why he hexed you,” Parkinson said and it didn’t make any sense to Harry why she was looking at him like she’d just told him a secret.

“He hexed me because he was pissed at me,” Harry stated.

“Just pissed?” she asks and Harry started to see what she was getting at.

“And hurt,” He said swallowing the bile that rose in his throat at that knowledge; Draco was only really cruel when he was hurt.

“Now I’m going to tell you something you might not have discovered by stalking him. Draco doesn’t get hurt unless he cares, if he really hated you he wouldn’t have even looked at you, it would be like you didn’t even exist to him. Think hard Potter, I know it’s difficult for you but try, think about what he was like at Hogwarts; he apparently hated you then too. Did he ever ignore you?” she asked raising her eyebrow at him.

Harry felt like his head was going to explode with this new information, Draco cared about him, that was why he was hurt, why he hadn’t reported him, why he’d always started fights with him at school. His eyes widened as understanding dawned and his heart gave an excited flip for a second.

“He cares about me, he cared about me then?” he asked needing to know the answer, his tone pleading as he looked at Parkinson.

“Yes but that doesn’t mean he will forgive you for what you’ve done, but there’s a chance. When it comes to Draco it’s when he stops fighting with you that you need to worry because that means he’s given up,” She said making Harry smile, he had a chance, maybe he could fix this.

His smile quickly disappeared when a sharp fingernail was pointed at him, the nail varnish the same bloody red as Parkinson's lipstick.

“However I’m also going to give you a warning, I didn’t tell you this for your sake Potter but for Draco’s, because even after everything you’ve done to him he still cares about you. I want my friend to be happy but if you fuck this up again, I will personally see to it that you spend the rest of your life suffering for it, and unlike Draco I don’t care about you so I won’t hold back.”

Harry didn’t scare easily but right now looking into Parkinson’s almost black eyes he was terrified. Nodding his head quickly and trying to make his expression as sincere as he could Harry wondered what he should do now. He didn’t trust himself to come up with a good plan but maybe Parkinson would be willing to give him a bit of help.

“Okay I understand, I swear I’m not going to fuck this up but what should I do? Draco will hex me if I go anywhere near him,” Harry said truthfully, he didn’t think he’d get off as easily as he did last time either even if Draco did apparently care about him.

“Stop thinking like a Gryffindor and recklessly rushing in headfirst, if you want to get anywhere with Draco you need to behave like a Slytherin and I don’t mean using your cloak. Determination and cunning are what you need, if you can’t go near Draco then find a way to talk to him from a distance. Use what you do know about him to your advantage and don’t hide your feelings, that’s all I’m giving you, the rest is up to you Potter,” Parkinson said giving him a wink before moving off his desk and heading to the door.

Harry was still trying to work out what she meant but seeing her about to leave he called out to her.

“Wait, are you going to tell Draco about this?” Harry asked worried that Parkinson was going to tell Draco how he felt.

“No I think it’ll be much more entertaining if you do that. Bye Potter,” She said giving him a small wave and then she was gone.

Left with a bunch of questions he didn’t have the answers to Harry began to wonder if Parkinson had been joking about everything and was setting him up only to watch him fail. After a few more minutes of thinking Harry decided he didn’t care, even if he personally didn’t think he had a chance he wanted to do something to reduce the pain he’d caused Draco. However this time he was going to speak to Ron and defiantly Hermione before he did anything else.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTICE-DRACO'S POV  
> prompt-owl post

Draco sat on his sofa with his arms folded over his chest as he glared down at the brightly wrapped box on his table.

It had arrived by owl while he’d been having breakfast, later than usual because it was Saturday so he had slept in this morning. He’d managed to eventually decode the messily scribbled note attached to the parcel stating it was to him from his secret Santa.

He wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk opening the gift, even though the war had been over for years there were still a few people that held grudges. _Like Potter_ , his mind whispered causing him to frown harder, fucking Potter.

Not wanting to think about that fucking bastard he let his curiosity over the gift take over and reached out to peel off the paper, to reveal another layer of paper and a letter.

In the same messy handwriting as the tag was written ‘please read this before opening your gift’.

Draco’s eyebrow rose with his interest, now that was intriguing, what could anyone possible have to say to him that wasn’t an insult? He thought for a minute about destroying the letter and gift but something stopped him, he’d always loved a mystery and hated to leave one unsolved. Throwing his usual caution to the wind he opened the letter and began to read.

_Dear Malfoy, I’m really hoping you are too curious about this letter to destroy it or at least not until after you’ve read it. I’m also hoping it doesn’t make you hex me again since technically you told me to stay away from you, which I am._

Draco swore, his hands clenching at the paper in his hands, he wanted to rip it into shreds, burn it to ash then mail it back to that damn wanker. How dare he try and talk to him, to try and find a way around Draco’s demand. It was sneaky and underhanded and far too Slytherin for the Gryffindor golden boy.

Dropping the letter on the table Draco grabbed his wand and checked the wards he’d put up after finding Potter in his flat, they were secure but just to be certain he cast homenum revelio. Only when that turned up negative did he relax slightly and turn his attention back to the letter.

Pointing his wand at it, he considered using incendio on it and whatever was in the box, he wasn’t interested in anything Potter had to say or wanted to give him. He let out a snort of annoyance; chances were good that the box contained something nasty, payback for Emma’s fragrant gift. Tightening his grip on his wand Draco opened his mouth to say the spell, only for nothing to come out. Dropping his wand next to him on the sofa he let out another curse, damn Potter but he couldn’t destroy the letter not without reading what it said, it would drive him crazy not knowing for certain. Reaching out he snatched up the crumpled paper and continued reading.

_I’m guessing you’ve worked out who your secret Santa is by now, if not then I would be surprised since I know how clever you are. I want to make it clear that this letter isn’t an attempt to earn your forgiveness because I don’t deserve it. It is also not my way of lessening the guilt I feel for what I did because honestly I don’t think anything will achieve that._

_This is a confession of my sins, my actions and of the truth. I am well aware that this letter could be used against me if you decide to report my actions. However the risk is worth it if it means that I can tell you that I never intended to cause you harm, I was just being really stupid. I’m sure you already know that I’m a complete idiot so it shouldn’t surprise you that I behaved recklessly without thinking what the consequences would be._

Draco paused had Potter just admitted to being stupid, obliviously he was, but he had also called Draco clever. There wasn’t a chance in hell of Potter writing that unless he was held at wand point, for a moment Draco wondered if that’s what had happened. He was sure Pansy had said something about hexing Potter into an early grave; damn she was going to be in a lot of trouble if she had threatened the sodding saviour. He decided he had better keep reading so he could find out if he needed to bail Pansy out or if Potter had written the letter of his own violation as unlikely as it seemed.

_Anyway I’ll start at the beginning and I hope the truth brings you closure and maybe even takes away some of the pain I caused. The first time I followed you was 1st December, when you left work to meet Parkinson, turns out she was right about me drawing your name for secret Santa and you were wrong about me being able to get out of it. I used that as an excuse to follow you, it was a shit excuse._

_The truth is I did it out of curiosity, I’ve always been oddly curious about you. I saw the expression on your face, saw you rushing and wanted to know why, needed to know. I don’t know if it helps that I thought that you might be in trouble and it never crossed my mind that you might be up to something. Seems things change a lot over time, you certainly have. When I discovered why you were rushing I should have left but I didn’t, I stayed and part of me is glad I did. I think that was the first time I’ve ever seen you smile, really smile which is a shame because it’s beautiful. I think that might have been the moment I started falling for you even if I didn’t realise it at the time._

Draco’s eyes widened as he reread the last line, wondering if he had misread Potter’s messy handwriting. Surely he was mistaken but there it was in splattered ink on creased parchment, he’s even called Draco’s smile beautiful. While he would have preferred something less girly, handsome for example, he couldn’t deny that his heart was beating a little faster. His worries of Pansy’s involvement were now forgotten, because she wouldn’t have made Potter write that. Quickly he began reading again.

_When I left that night my mind was a mess, I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that the boy who bullied me at school was the same person I’d just seen freaking out over their friend being cold. I tried not to think about it too much, but I couldn’t seem to stop myself. Every time I closed my eyes all I saw was your face, even in my dreams and while it was a nice change from my usual nightmares, it sort of annoyed me._

_I never planned to follow you again but I honestly couldn’t help myself, for the sake of my curiosity and my sanity I had to know more. Again I know these are shit excuses but I managed to convince myself that as long as it was only at work, that I wasn’t causing any harm._

_You were right about the cloak by the way, the only reason I had it was so it would be easier to watch you, I can’t even remember what I was thinking when I grabbed it the next day and took it with me. I told myself I wasn’t going to use it, that it was insane to even think about it._

_That all went out the window when I ran into you on the lift, seeing how different you were with me, sneering and angry, I wondered if I had just imagined you smiling and laughing so I followed you again. I wanted to prove that you really were still the person you used to be, the person I thought you were. Again you surprised me by showing me a side I hadn’t expected to see._

_Part of me wishes I’d bothered to look closer when we were at school but I can’t change what happened no matter how much I would like to. By that point I was hooked on finding out everything I could about you._

_I learnt your schedule over time just so I could take my breaks when you did and seeing the expression on your face when you had sweets became the best part of my day. Do you know how open your expression is in those moments, you look so young and happy and bloody adorable, I only feel safe saying that because I’m too far away for you to hex me and you can’t see the smile on my face right now_.

He was going to kill Potter, the bastard thought he was safe now but the next time Draco saw him he was going to hit him with every dark spell he knew. Potter’s earlier words might have thrown him for a second but it hadn’t changed the fact that the git deserved to be burning in the deepest pits of hell for what he’d done. With anger coursing through his veins, Draco continued reading with his lips pulled back in a sneer.

_I found out which days you worked late and stayed late with you in the lab, the passion and dedication you have for your work even when you’re exhausted is something to be admired and I do admire you for it. Actually I admire your entire department, I never considered how much work you all do and since I had my head too far up my arse to say it before I want to say it now. Thank you for everything you’ve done to help the Auror department, we’d be seriously screwed without you all._

Draco’s sneer dropped slightly, but it was going to take more than a bit of recognition and a pathetic thank you to save Potter from his wrath.

_I watched you for a week at work, ignoring the warnings that what I was doing was wrong, I kept telling myself I’d stop, that it would be the last time but then I’d fine out something else out about you and I wanted more. If I’d been thinking straight, or at all I would have realised how out of hand I was becoming and maybe I could have avoided this whole mess._

Bit late to be worried about that Draco thought. Potter wasn’t fooling anyone, especially him. He didn’t believe for a second that Potter found him so fascinating that it required him to follow him around like a dog. That he had driven Potter insane enough to risk continuing.

_It’s not the first time I’ve ever followed you and occasionally I worried that it would end the same way it did back then only I’d be the one left hurt. I decided I didn’t care if that’s what happened to me but I never thought you would suffer too and there aren’t enough words for me to tell you how sorry I am that you were._

_Instead I told myself that as long as I didn’t cross anymore lines that what I was doing was forgivable, as long as I never stepped over the threshold I was still a decent person. I can be very good at lying to myself and really bad at obeying rules even the ones I give myself; again my inability to follow rules shouldn’t come as a shock to you._

Draco snorted, of course Potter didn’t follow rules, those were for mere mortals. Did he really think that just because he tried to impose limits on his stalking that it made his actions better or less disturbing?

_The first time I crossed that line was 12th December, I’m sure you remember what happened that day._

The letter in his hand was crushed as his hands tightened, he wasn’t going to read anymore, wasn’t going to listen to Potter explain what a piece of shit he was. He didn’t want to think about that day, wanted to pretend it had never happened, that he hadn’t severed the last ties he had with his family. He knew that nothing he did would make it any less true, it was the hardest thing he’d ever done and while it had been the right choice he still regretted that it had been necessary.

Closing his eyes to stop the tears that were trying to fall, he took several deep breaths until his chest stopped feeling tight. Opening his eyes Draco realised that he needed to continue, had to push past this, just like he had all the other hard parts of his life. Denial didn’t help, acceptance was the only way forward, and unclenching his hands he continued reading.

_I only did it because I was worried, no, more than that I was terrified because what could possibly unnerve you, what could be in your flat that made you pause for so long before opening the door._ _Even as I panicked and worried, I tried to talk myself out of taking that final step because I knew what crossing that line would mean. I just wanted to make sure you were safe, I wanted to protect you._

_People are always telling me I have a hero complex and I guess they’re right but I couldn’t protect you, couldn’t help you but Merlin I wish I could have. By the time I realized my mistake I was trapped, once again I had gotten myself into a mess that I didn’t know how to get out of and then I watched you pick yourself back up. How could I ever walk away after that, you were so strong and brave. I was amazed by you Draco and the more I watched you the more amazed I became. At that moment I would have done anything for you just so I could stay close to you._

Draco’s heart stopped for a second as he read Potter’s words, he thought he was strong, that he was amazing, would have done anything for him. There had only been two people in Draco’s life that had ever said that to him before and who he could always count on to have his back which was Pansy and Emma.

Potter wanted to protect him, there was a time once when Draco would have given anything to have Potter’s protection. During the war he’d been desperate for Potter or anyone to save him. While he did save him later from the fire, Draco had always thought it was a spur of the moment decision for Potter. This wasn’t the same as that, he’d been worried about his safety and while Draco was still furious, a small part of him softened towards Potter for caring enough to want to help him. Wondering what else the letter contained Draco focused back on the written words before him.

_However I knew that would never happen, that we would never be friends or more, there is too much history between us. You hated me and still do with good reason. I kept watching because I knew it was the best I’d get, a few stolen moments, a chance to see you smile and laugh the way you never do when I’m around. Not that I don’t also like you when you’re angry and sarcastic, the way you make weapons out of words or the way you whine in the mornings because you want a cup of tea._ _So I was stupid and I kept watching you and things just got worse._

_The second time I crossed the line was the day I saw you in the shower I’m sure you won’t believe me when I say I didn’t mean to spy on you then and that I really did try and convince myself to look away, stay away. But let’s be serious have you seen yourself? That was never going to happen and I would rather die than give up that memory even if I can’t remember it without guilt tearing me apart._

_I wouldn’t give up a single one of my memories of you, not even the bad ones, they all mean too much to me. For the record the feelings I developed for you are because of who you are, not how attractive you are. I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you how good you look since seeing you naked knocked me off my feet, quite literally._

His face felt hot and Draco knew he was blushing. While he had worked out Potter had been there that day he’d tried not to think about it very much to avoid his own embarrassment. It had been a private moment which should not have been witnessed by anyone but if Potter’s words were to be believed he’d been very affected by his apparently accidental voyeurism.

Draco licked his dry lips at the idea that Potter desired him and wondered if he used that memory late at night when he touched himself. Shaking his head to clear away those thoughts as his own lust rose and his cock stirred, he wasn’t going to think of things like that. Potter shouldn’t have that damn memory and if he was a gentleman he would obliterate himself and not mention it in a letter, where he claimed to feel guilty about it.

_I knew I’d really gone too far that day and I promised I was going to stay away from you before I really messed up, before I got caught and I did. Those few days were terrible, I missed you and no matter what I did, how much I threw myself into my job; you were all I could think about._

_One morning I woke up and realised I was in love with you; it’s embarrassing that it took me so long to figure it out. It happened so slowly I didn’t even notice that I went from admiring you, to liking you, to loving you but I do love you. I think I could fill a hundred letters with all the things about you I love, like the way to swear at the TV or the colourful socks you like to wear or your sarcastic sense of humour, I could go on but that isn’t what this letter is about._

Draco gasped as he read what had only been hinted at in Potter’s letter, written clearly and almost jumping off the page. Potter loved him, just thinking it made him feel confused.

Letting out the breath he hadn’t noticed he’d been holding, Draco wasn’t sure what he was suppose to do with this information. He was angry at Potter, regardless of his reasons, he’d followed him, and he’d spied on him even going so far as to sneak into his home. All of these things were unforgivable; no amount of apologies could erase how much it had hurt Draco finding him here. The bitterness that had filled him when he had thought Potter was following and watching him because he hated him or because he wanted a reason to lock him away in Azkaban.

Even knowing the truth, Draco still felt betrayed, violated by Potter’s actions, but there was another part of him, a part he’d long since believed dead and buried that still cared about the raven haired man. The part that had teased and tormented Potter at school, simply because he wanted his green eyes on him and still did if he was being honest with himself.

He let out a dry chuckle, seemed he’d finally got his wish and Potter hadn’t been able to look away. If he hadn’t done it from under an invisibility cloak and instead acted like a normal person all of this could have been avoided, would maybe have even been the start of something. Could it be that now? Draco asked himself and was annoyed that the answer was that he really didn’t know. He still hadn’t finished the letter yet perhaps by the time he did he’d know what to do.

_I said this letter was a confession and I’m sure that this wasn’t the one you expected, I tried to talk to you once I worked it all out and it went about as well as I thought it would. I don’t blame you for hating me then or now, I haven’t forgotten what we did to each other at school, the things I wish I could take back, the things I wish I’d done different. The day you caught me was the third time I crossed the line and I’d promised myself that it would be the last time, a goodbye before I gave up on the impossible, I promise you now that this is goodbye and I will be staying away from you from now on._

_Well now you know the truth so the last thing I want to say to you is this. I wish you a life filled with happiness Draco, I hope you keep making brilliant potions, I hope you fall in love with someone who sees how amazing you are and I hope that no-one, most importantly me, ever hurts you again._

_All my love Harry Potter_

_P.S I once heard you say that for homemade cookies you’d love someone forever, even I’m not stupid enough to be that hopeful but I do hope you enjoy your present._

Draco’s hands were shaking when he dropped the letter on the table and reached forward for the box, ripping the paper off in his haste, opening the lid he gasped and his eyes grew damp.

Reaching in he pulled out one of the cookies, obviously handmade and moulded into shape without the use of a cookie cutter. He looked at the potion bottle shaped biscuit decorated with icing before placing it on the table and pulling out some of the others. There were two that looked like a pair of socks decorated with multicoloured strips, another was shaped like a person with white hair dressed in a grey coat, there was even one shaped into a wedge and decorated to look like a slice of chocolate cake.

Draco felt the corner of his mouth curl up in a small smirk, _fucking Potter_ , he thought as he took a bite from the cookie in his hand.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt-fireplace  
> I'm posting this earlier than normal because my son has decided that I'm not sleeping. It's almost 3am so it is tecnically christmas eve.

Harry sat in Ron and Hermione’s living room and tried to make himself smile, tried not to think of Draco but his mind wouldn’t stop driving him crazy with questions. Had Draco read the letter? Had it helped? Did he like the biscuits? Did he hate him even more now?

Since sending the letter on Saturday, four days ago, Harry had stayed away from Draco. Whenever he did see him at work, Harry had turned away, almost running from the room, chest aching and bile burning his throat. Thankfully it was Christmas Eve and they had a few days off so he didn’t have to worry about running into Draco and what would happen if he did. He didn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself for what he’d done but maybe with time, a lot of time, it would stop consuming his every moment; even in his sleep he couldn’t escape the guilt.

His nightmares no longer filled with memories of the war but now contained Draco’s face when he had caught Harry, angry words screamed at him as tears rolled down Draco’s cheeks and raising his wand to hex Harry. Only it was always Draco that ended up being cut open, he was the one that ended up on the floor bleeding as he cursed Harry’s name and shouted that it was all Harry’s fault. He’d woken up from these nightmares shaking hard enough that he could barely put his glasses on, not that he could see through the tears filling his eyes.

“Hey mate, why don’t we go down the pub? A few drinks might help relax and cheer you up?” Ron suggested.

Harry just shook his head. He didn’t want to tell Ron that going to the pub would just make him think of Draco and how this whole thing had started. Almost everything he did reminded him of Draco and that was the problem.

“Harry I understand you’re upset but the way you’ve been acting isn’t healthy. You need to get some sleep and make sure to eat more than once a day,” Hermione said her tone soft, filled with concern. Harry would have preferred it if she scolded him, her tiptoeing around him just made him feel worse because he didn’t want her to worry, didn’t want his friends to be hurt by his actions.

He shifted on the floor moving closer to the fire place, hoping it would chase the chill from his bones and looked up at his friends sat on the sofa exchanging looks with each other.

“You’re coming to the burrow for Christmas tomorrow right?” Ron asked, “Mum’s gone all out this year. I think we’ll be eating the leftovers for a week and Bill’s gonna be there with fleur and their little girl. Haven’t seen her in a while it’ll be great to see how big she’s gotten now,” Ron continued to ramble and Harry actually smiled at the redhead. He really was lucky to have such good friends, ones who wanted him to be happy even when he didn’t deserve to be.

“Yeah, I’ll be there. Molly would skin me if I missed it. I also promise not to be a grumpy bastard,” Harry said chuckling but even to his own ears it sounded hollow. At another concerned look from his friends, Harry pushed his guilt down, and tried to make his voice sound convincing when he spoke again.

“I’m fine; I just need a bit of time. Give it a week and I’ll have forgotten all about this.”

“Harry don’t lie to us, you’ve never been good at it,” Hermione said a bit of annoyance in her tone that did actually cheer Harry slightly. “You’re not fine and it’s going to take more than a week or even several for you to forget about this.”

“Yeah, I heard about what happened yesterday. There’s no way you’re ok,” Ron added blue eyes steady as they stared into Harry’s.

“That wasn’t because of this. That was because Auror Harrison was being a dickhead,” Harry argued back.

It really hadn’t been his fault that he’d lost his temper with the git and it wasn’t like he had intentionally let his magic loose. It had been years since the last time he’d lost control like that, not since he’d blown up his aunt when he was 13. However when he’d stepped out of his office and heard Harrison shouting at Emma for how long it had taken to get the results he wanted for his case Harry had seen red. This unfortunately meant that the glass windows of the office doors near him had shattered making several people come out to see what was going on and caused Harrison and Emma to both turn and look at him.

He’d tried to play it off, forced himself to smile even if he didn’t think it was a very friendly one and calmly told Harrison to apologise because the potion department was overworked and understaffed so delays should be expected. When Harrison had rolled his eyes and said that those were just excuses Harry had curled his hands into fists so he didn’t hit the bugger.

He hadn’t been trying to start a fight when he suggested that maybe if he had a problem with waiting he should do his own potion work rather than act like an ungrateful git. Harrison had just snorted at him and went into his office slamming the door on his and Emma’s faces. The fact that a few seconds later the door disappeared completely wasn’t Harry’s fault either, he hadn’t even drawn his wand let alone cast a spell.

Emma hadn’t been impressed, giving him a dark look and saying that sucking up to her wasn’t going to get him in Draco’s good book. She didn’t believe him when he said that Draco wasn’t why he had gotten angry, it wasn’t, not completely. He really was sick of the way the Aurors looked down on the lab workers since they worked bloody hard. He’d actually spoken to Hermione about how to change things and build a better relationship between the departments or at least help with the lack of staff and funding for the potion department. She was already in discussions with the department heads and the treasurer about fixing the problem, not only because she agreed with Harry but that she hoped it would help make him feel better.

“Whatever mate, I can’t believe the ferret…I mean Malfoy’s got you this messed up,” Ron said changing his words when he noticed the look Harry was giving him. “Though I guess it makes sense, he’s always gotten under your skin; I just wish it was still because you hated each other.”

“Really Ronald, was saying that necessary, Harry can’t help how he feels about Draco and you should be supportive ” Hermione said sharply.

“I am supportive, I mean it Harry. I don’t have a problem with you liking Malfoy but you gotta face the facts that it’s never gonna happen. So it’s best that you put him out of your head and move on,” Ron said quickly and seemed to realise after just how bad his words sounded. “You know what I mean; I just don’t like seeing you so down mate.”

“I know its okay Ron.”

Harry really wasn’t angry at Ron because it was the truth, he didn’t have any chance with Draco but that didn’t mean he could just forget about him either. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore, he just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and hope he didn’t dream tonight.

“I think I’m gonna head home, get some sleep because tomorrow is going to be mental.”

“If you’re sure Harry, you know you’re always welcome to stay here if you want,” Hermione said rising from the sofa as Harry climbed to his feet and wrapping him in a hug.

“I know but I want some space,” seeing Ron’s expression over Hermione’s shoulder Harry decided he had better clear things up. “It’s not because of what you said mate. I really am just tired, I’ll see you both tomorrow,” He said releasing Hermione to pull Ron into a hug and getting another painful slap on the back before throwing some floo powder into the fireplace, calling out his address and stepping into the flames.

Stepping out into his own living room Harry thought he was having a mental breakdown when he saw what was waiting for him by his Christmas tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think is waiting for harry by his christmas tree in the comments.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MERRY CHRISTMAS I hope you are all having a great day.  
> prompt-christmas tree

“What” Harry said as Draco turned around his eyes meeting Harry’s.

“Your wards are pathetic, your house is a mess and you need to make your bed Potter,” Draco said turning away again and walking over to the photos displayed on the wall, eyes scanning them with mild interest.

“Um ok,” Harry said trying and failing to understand what was going on and wondered if any minute now Draco was going to pull out his wand and avada kedavra him.

“Not to be rude or anything but what are you doing here?” Harry asked because he really wanted to know. Draco had told him to stay away and then he turned up at Harry’s house acting like nothing had happened.

“I thought it was only fair I visit your home after you had been to mine, I did however decide to forgo the invisibility cloak, not only because I don’t own one but also because I didn’t want to be rude. Turns out it wasn’t necessary anyway since when I arrived you were out, I hope you don’t mind that I made myself at home,” Draco said as he abandoned studying the photos to walk over to Harry’s armchair, lowering himself into it gracefully and looking like a king on a throne.

Guilt filled Harry and he found it difficult to look at Draco or think of something to say other than sorry. The silence stretched on for a few minutes before Draco spoke again.

“You Potter are a fucking asshole.” He stated making Harry flinch at the anger in his tone.

“I know,” Harry muttered because there really wasn’t anything else he could say. Draco however seemed to have plenty to say.

“You are also an imbecile; one whose stupidity I am convinced must cause you considerable pain whenever you attempt to form a thought,” Draco said sneering at Harry as his tone darkened.

“I also know I was stupid. Is the the only reason you’re here to tell me things I already know because if it is you can save your breath,” Harry said sharply, he already felt like shit and while Draco was more than entitle to hate his guts, turning up at his house and insulting him was just petty.

“You have the maturity of a toddler as well as their understanding of morals. Nothing and no one else matters as long as you get what you want and people think I’m an entitled spoilt brat.”

It was at this moment Harry started paying closer attention to Draco which was why he noticed that Draco was upset not angry.

“I don’t think that but you’re right that I acted like one and I’m sorry Draco,” Harry said as he stepped closer to where Draco was sat, however the blonde pushed himself out of the seat, walking a few more steps away from him before turning back around to face him.

“And I want to despise you, I want to remove your very presence from the world and make it as if you had never been born,” Draco snapped, his hand reaching towards his wand but Harry knew Draco and he wasn’t worried, not yet.

“I’m sure you do, what I did is unforgivable and I wouldn’t stop you if you wanted to hex me right now because I deserve it ” Harry said honestly taking another step closer with his arms at his side.

“For Salazar’s sake why can’t I just hate you?” Draco asked and Harry was sure he wasn’t supposed to answer but he did anyway.

“Because you don’t hate me, just like I don’t hate you. I don’t think I’ve hated you for years but I was just too dumb to see it.”

Taking a few steps forward so he was only a few feet away from Draco Harry let out a small chuckle. “Seems it’s a recurring problem, my stupidity, maybe since you’re much smarter than me you wouldn’t mind helping me with it.”

Draco scoffed at him, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at Harry.

“I think you may be overestimating my skills. I am not in fact a miracle worker ” Draco sassed and the corner of his mouth curled up into a smirk. Harry smiled seeing that and risked taking another step so that there was only a foot between them now.

“I don’t believe you Malfoy, I think if you put your mind to it there is nothing you can’t do. I also think that you didn’t just come here to insult me and complain about my bad housekeeping. Why are you here Draco?” Harry whispered the last words; his heart was racing in his chest, so that he could hear the blood pounding in his ears. He wasn’t sure what Draco’s answer was going to be and while he had for a moment allowed himself to feel hopeful that changed when Draco stepped back away from him again.

“You splinched yourself when you left,” Draco said and even though it was a statement rather than a question Harry answered.

“Yes, I took a chunk out of my leg, used the potions in my Auror pack to fix it so I owe you a thank you,” Harry said not bothering to move closer this time.

“You baked me biscuits.” Again it was a statement but Harry answered.

“Yes, I got the recipe off Molly, but not sure I did it justice. Were they any good?” He couldn’t help but ask. Draco gave the barest hint of a nod, eyes not quiet meeting Harry’s as he looked at him.

“You wrote me a letter, even after I hexed you and told you to stay away from me.”

“I did stay away from you technically but I’m also stubborn and I wanted to talk to you…to explain…everything,” Harry said and his heart skipped a beat as Draco stepped towards him.

“You got angry at your colleague and vanished his door because he was rude to Emma,” Draco said softly, locking his eyes with Harry’s.

“Yes because he was being a dickhead and I like Emma, a little less after the stink bomb but I still like her,” Harry admitted.

“You talked to Granger about the potion department in order to improve it,” Draco said grey eyes never leaving Harry’s, drawing him in so that he struggled to remember to answer.

“Yes, you work too hard; it’s not good for you… being exhausted all the time and...” Harry said his words trailing off, he couldn’t think of things like talking when Draco was so close to him, his scent filling Harry’s nose and his body close enough for Harry to reach out and finally touch. As he raised his hands to place them on Draco’s hips and pull him closer, Draco stepped back again.

“I’m still mad at you for being a fucking idiot, why couldn’t you of just acted like a normal person and asked me out.” He said with a trace of hurt in his voice that made Harry want to hold him even more, made him want to sooth away the pain from his face with his fingertips.

“Because that would have been the smart thing to do and as we’ve said several times already I’m an idiot. Also there was a good chance if I’d tried that you would have told me to fuck off after hitting me with a nasty hex or two ” Harry replied moving closer and hesitantly taking Draco’s hand waiting for him to pull away again, but instead Draco held on tighter making him smile.

“Really Potter, don’t tell me you were seriously scared of me,” Draco teased his smirk back in place and chasing away the sadness from a moment ago.

“Terrified, but not enough to leave you alone it seems,” Harry said after letting out a chuckle teasing Draco back enjoying the playfulness between them.

“What are you doing?” Draco asked as Harry lifted his other hand and cupped his cheek with it, letting his thumb stroke the soft skin. Harry wondered for a moment if he was dreaming, he was finally touching Draco and it didn’t seem real. _Please Merlin_ he thought don’t let me mess this up, as he watched Draco’s tongue run along his bottom lip.

“Something else stupid that you’re probably going to be mad at me for,” Harry answered because he was going to kiss Draco, there was no way he could stop himself.

He leaned forward, eyes falling shut as his lips brushed Draco, and sure he was going to be smacked in the face any second. Instead Draco let out a small sigh and kissed him back; emboldened Harry increased the pressure of his lips. As their mouths opened and their tongues sought out the others, Harry wasn’t disappointed that Draco didn’t taste of chocolate like he had imagined. He tasted so much better and Harry knew that he would never be able to survive without it. Eventually they broke the kiss, opening his eyes Harry was met with Draco’s flushed face and his pupils blown wide.

“That might have been the smartest thing you’ve ever done,” Draco said as he smiled, that beautiful dimpled smile that Harry loved so much and thought he would never see again.

“Merry Christmas Harry ” Draco said before leaning forward and capturing Harry’s lips for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone that has kudos and commented on this story it means a lot to me knowing you enjoyed reading it. I hope the ending didn't dissapoint.


	26. the story continued?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to demand I will be continuing this story but I ask that you be patient as I do not know how long it will take or how often I will be posting chapters for this fic. For now I give you a teaser for the second part of this story.

Draco pulls out of the kiss feeling a small amount of glee at the dazed look on Potter’s face. Stepping back further he twists his smile back into his trademark smirk and watches Potter’s confusion rise as he crosses his arms and fixes him with a hard look.

“Listen up Potter because I am only going to say this once. This is not some Christmas miracle where we live happily ever after, you really fucked up and I’m not letting you off the hook just yet.” He says firmly and takes a little satisfaction in watching Potter flinch at his tone.

“What...” Potter starts to say only for Draco to cut him off.

“However since it is Christmas I will give you a chance, one chance to do things right this time. I expect to _**see**_ you after Christmas when we return to work,” Draco says stressing the word ‘see’ and hoping it isn’t too subtle that his meaning will go over Potter’s head. “You know where I’ll be, you’ve been there a lot apparently.” He finishes walking quickly towards the front door and letting himself outside. He shivers as he is hit by the icy wind; his clothes while flattering are not designed to keep someone warm.

“Draco wait?” Potter shouts as he runs out after him, his arm stretched out towards him but Potter quickly drops it when Draco glares at it.

“You claimed to love me Potter. A bold statement and not one I feel inclined to believe considering your actions. So prove it.” Draco says a trace of anger slipping into his tone at the reminder of his recent pain at the hands of Potter. “You’ve always liked a challenge Potter, so I’m giving you one. You have a month to convince me that you meant it, that shouldn’t be too hard should it.” Draco says raising his eyebrow at Potter and locking his eyes on to his. He doesn’t look away and Draco sees a spark of determination in his green gaze as he tenses his jaw. Draco shoots him a wink before spinning and disapparate back to his flat, wondering if he might have just given up on his chance for happiness.


End file.
